why do i have friends
when i was younger i never had friends
i had nobody
it was simple then
i was alone
i didn't have to worry about anyone
except myself
things were simple
in my memories
but in reality they weren't
i actually had a friend
a few
some moved away
one bullied me
another left me for more popular girls
i had one best friend
the one i keep dying for
she hurt me even then
at that young age
i clung to her
she kept me going
she was my lifeline
she didn't like it
she thought i was weird
she complained
about me
to many people
my mother worried about me
about my health
she thought i was crazy
why would i be so attached
to this...girl
i moved away
i improved
upgraded
i made many friends
became somewhat popular
i met another girl
we became friends
we were close
she was, different
interesting
dark
i didn't understand her
she was so popular
she liked me
this had never happened before
she loved death
talked to me about it
taught me about it
i learned so much from her
so many dark things
she darkened my mind
increased my insanity
she made my maze of a mind
even more cryptic
she used me
i didn't realize
she turned out to be a bitch
i noticed
i hurt
i found a replacement
someone just like her
they were so alike
too alike
she was crazy
insane
a bitch
i found a third
she was different
she lasted longer
she was a blast from the past
i thought she came back
my lifeline
she was the same
i thought she had changed
like me
i thought she had upgraded
i thought she had opened her heart up to me
i was wrong she hated my friends
she tried to influence me
she stole my brother
she used me
she couldn't cast me away
not this time
i was too involved
she'd get caught
in her web of lies
so she hurt me, instead
emotionally
she made me think everything was my fault
she seemed so innocent
people believed her act
people thought she was the victim
me the aggressor
i died
because i thought i loved her
i realize
i didn't die
i was murdered
by the third bitch
cruelest of them all
my nemesis
my downfall
but also
my weakness
