Chapter 1

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My name was Colon Copper.

Until I died that is.

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..

...

Let's get a little closer.

It was July 6th, 2016. The day before my birthday. I was at an international airport, boarding a plane heading to Greece. I was going to Athens on my own as a birthday trip from my dad, who knew I was planning to travel to all 7 Wonders of the World. 'If we leave at 7 in the afternoon, what time will it be when we get to Athens? How long will it take me to get to Olympia?'

Until the shots rang out. I whipped around to find armed men storming the area, waving their guns around and speaking in what I think was Arabic. Their general message was clear. Get together at the center of the room.

I was young. I was stupid. But, I was mainly bored, so I whipped out a book and began reading, waiting to see if anyone would notice. "Pay attention! Do you want them to shoot us!?" some Latina girl next to me whisper shouted.

"If they're gonna shoot, they're gonna shoot. Not like we can do anything about it. Besides, I would like to read this if I'm gunna die today." I said as I got back to reading. A little after finishing it, I was pulled from my spot and dragged into view of a police blockade. I was shot in the head at point blank range. The last thing I saw was a clock on the wall. 12:00. Midnight. Technically my birthday.

After that, I sorta became a ghost. I watched my corpse until the military came in, five minutes too late. My now bloody face, was carried out in a black bag, and given a number.

'That's life. Some make it great. Others get shot because of...Why was I shot again?'

After walking around a bit, I found out what these idiots wanted. They were part of some Middle East cultists that needed funds for their church. Five billion dollars in cash in five hours. And they killed me because the government didn't send in the money fast enough.

'Religion. Oh well, there are stupider ways to die. I wonder if Mom, Dad, and Luce get along alright. Now, where's the afterlife? I want to see if you can gat laid in heaven!'

And so, I closed my eyes, and tried to will myself into whatever metaphorical light was supposed to take me.

And I'm now opening my eyes.

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..

...

'Why am I in some crazy ass office?' I think as I looked at my surroundings. And then I examine myself.

'And since when am I a fucking bird?! Now I can't give people the bird!'

That's right. I'm currently a fire red bird perched on some type of perch that looks over what appears to be an unorganized chaos of trash. The only reason I knew it was an office was because of the desk below me. I noted a big bowl of candy.

'Those aren't sherbet lemons...are they?'

Suddenly the doors opened, and in came a wrinkly old man dressed in some type of disgustingly purple dress.

"Fawkes, I need you help. I need to see if your tears will heal petrification" He told me.

'Awww shit. Now I'm the pet bird of a man going to arrange a child's murder!'

~Four Years Later~ (To be read in that weird SpongeBob narration)

'And it comes to an end...'

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Jun 11, 2017 ⏰

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