Haneul slowly opened her eyes to the sound of the calming waves hitting the shore and the warm of the sun as it kissed her skin. For the first time in a long time she woke up feeling content and at peace.
Getting up was actually a pain in the back considering she fell asleep on the cliff, and the headache she got from drinking too much was even worse, "Stupid hangover," she said as she massaged her temples in an attempt to soothe the pain.
After she managed to completely wake up memories of the night before came to her, Hansol and her, 'It was just an effect from alcohol, right?' She asked herself, 'But it felt way too real. His warm, his scent, his heartbeat...'
Haneul stayed with her eyes settled on the horizon when remembered about the promise she made "I will be happy for you if that's what you desire, I want you to be happy too."
"That's right," the young girl told herself with determination, "you have to keep going, whether last night was simply an illusion or something inexplicable, you have to be happy and strong for him."
Being this said she stood up and started walking in return to Seungkwan's house, feeling as stronger and happier as ever, as if the hangover pain was replaced with an overload of enthusiasm to live.
"Oh Haneul! Where have you been we have been dead worried about you since last night!" Soonyoung exclaimed as soon as Haneul entered the house.
"I was just out for a walk to clear my mind and fell asleep on the cliff. Don't worry though nothing bad happened to me, actually the opposite! Something really nice occurred there." Haneul smiled reassuringly at her friend who was on the verge of panic when she mentioned the cliff part.
"How can you be so cool about this? I couldn't even sleep during the night! Do you see the eyebags you gave me you punk I-" Soonyoung was about to keep scolding Haneul until he noticed the smile on her face, "That smile," he thought, "She hasn't smiled like that ever since the accident..."
Soonyoung kept on staring at his friend in awe, wondering what happened on that cliff that made her this happy again.
"What's wrong? I thought you would keep scolding me for the rest of my life but that was quick." Haneul commented as she realized that he suddenly stopped his whining.
"Ah nothing, forget about it anyway. Just don't go disappearing like that again." He briefly said as he didn't want to ruin the good mood Haneul was on.
"Ah okay, I'll go take a shower since I think there's some grass in my hair." Haneul funnily commented as she started going up the stairs leaving a confused Soonyoung in the living room.
~
Two weeks had passed ever since the cliff event occurred. Haneul and the rest of the boys were back in Seoul, back to their lives. Yet instead of going to work that Wednesday, Haneul found herself driving towards the cemetery where her love was burried, a bouquet of pink carnation flowers on the passenger's seat.
After parking the car on a spot near his grave, she picked up the flowers and went directly towards it, feeling the cold morning air hit her face as she walked. The weather was rather cloudy that day, making the scenery seem a little bit gloomy but, surprisingly, Haneul felt rather at peace.
She sat down when she reached the grave with his name and let out a sigh, "It feels so long since I last came here," thankfully there wasn't anyone near the place so she could talk to 'him' freely.
"It feels different though, it is definitely different from when I first came here," She made a pause as thoughts from the day where Hansol's body was burried came back to her, her heart aching a little, "I felt like dying at that moment, as if everything that motivated me to keep living went down with you, as if my heart broke more and more as your coffin was lowered..."
Tears started to cloud her vision, 'You told yourself you wouldn't cry Haneul' She thought to herself as she whipped her cheeks with the back of her hand.
"But I kept going, maybe I didn't have the motivation I used to, but I kept going for you. And I realized this the day we met on the cliff, even if it was real or just an illusion from alcohol, I realized that deep down I knew you would have wanted me to keep fighting."
"And I have kept my promise, even though I still miss you at times, I have tried being happy at times," Haneul let out a small chuckle, "The boys have helped me a lot to do this, ever since I came back from the cliff I have started to appreciate more and more the happy moments I spend with them, I feel as if I'm slowly going back to who I was before..."
"Even if its not the same... for you are not here, but I am really thankful for every little moment we spent together. For every hug, kiss, dance, smile, for every time we laughed together and even for all the times we cried. I am thankful for all of the memories I have ever since we met on that beautiful spring day to that last morning we were together. You can be sure that those memories will be kept in my heart forever and treasured until the day I die."
"I brought these flowers for you, they have a special meaning, I remember you always used to buy flowers and give them to me, saying they had meanings related to eternal love and such, but now it is my turn to give you flowers, and this one symbolises what I want you to know 'I will never forget you'. You are the most important chapter of my life and even though I have to turn the page and start writing a new one, I promise you won't be forgotten. You will always stay in my heart Chwe Hansol."
Haneul sighed once again as she placed the carnations on their place and muttered a last 'I love you' as she started walking away towards her car.
When she finally entered the car she felt the need to look at the place once again, and the sight made her heart stop.
Over the green grass sitted the love of her life, staring lovingly at the flowers which were now on his hands and with that smile she adored the most. His eyes closed for a second as he put the flowers close to his nose to smell their fragance, and when he opened them once again his stare was directed towards her. Making eye contact and giving her a small wave with his hand.
Haneul's vision was blurred by her tears and she closed her eyes to wipe them, but when she opened them once again the boy wasn't there, just the carnations laying beautifully in the floor.
As she drove away Haneul felt an overwhelming peace in her chest, not the usual sadness or emptiness, just the assurance that even in this new chapter of her life she would never be alone for Hansol was always by her side.
And so it ends.
♡ 170530
Ahhhhh DEAD LINE HAS COME TO AN END!! In order to celebrate Seventeen's Don't Wanna Cry first win I decided to post this (a kinda sad way to celebrate, I apologize).Thank you to all the people who read till the end and even kept this in their reading lits even when I updated like once every two centuries. Some people were really supportive and I'm always so thankful of your comments and votes on this story.
When I first started writing this book I never had the experience of having a beloved one pass away yet in the middle of this I experimented the horrible pain that Haneul went through (though not as much). I learned that separating yourself permanently from someone who you were close with can be a really hard thing to do, yet with support from other people who give you strenght words and all their support the pain can be endured. Thus I really wanted to portray this through Soonyoung, who reminds me of my best friend, he was always supporting and caring for Haneul, trying to be strong for her (even when he was feeling down as well) and trying the hardest he could to cheer her up even the slightest.
So even when your friends aren't going through /this/ kind of pain I really motivate y'all to be caring and supportive of your friends and appreciate them the most. Appreciate every little moment you have with anyone for you don't know if it'll be the last time you see them. Give so much love to everyone always.
That's all! Once again thank you so much and I hope you all stay healthy and happy!
Love, Mel.
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Dead Line 》Hansol Vernon
Fanfiction"I will be home in 20, I love you xx" Sent 8:20p.m. Those were the last words he sent... He never came home ©gucchwe 2016 >