I am graced with awkwardness.
I can't talk on the phone with you for a mere 2 minutes.
I can't talk to you in person without my face and neck turning the color or ripe tomatoes.
Fidget. Fidget. Fidget. I cant keep my hands still.
I can't even look you in the eyes.
How do people do this?
You are my father.
And yet I do not know how to speak to you.
Maybe its your stern voice and pointing finger
or the fact that you never smile.
I mean, I KNOW you're my dad, but what do I call you?
Sir? Mister? General?
Maybe "Mr. President" would be more suiting.
You're so serious and all about business.
You never smile.
Sometimes i think i hate you.
With your scrutinizing gaze
and your lack of laughter.
Because I know that my father is in there somewhere
I've seen him once before
but its hard to get to know you again
when you've locked yourself up
and sunk your emotions to the bottom of the sea.
Even mom can't dive deep enough to find them.
So what do you I call you?
I think I'll stick with "hey" instead of a name.
Then maybe after a while
you'll remind me and say
"Don't say hey to me. Call me dad."
