The Life of Pie

Don't You Want A Piece Of Me?

I had been staring at dough boy for over an hour. He posed in front of the oven door, admiring his own reflection in it. 

"Oh yeah," He murmured to himself. "That's the pose. Werk it!"

I sighed. 

For the twelve millionth time. 

Well slap a piece of plastic wrap on me and call me a psychic. I told y'all it was going to be a long bake. I didn't even know it was possible to want to get out of the over before my fillings turned warm, but hell! If Mrs. CherryPie came here right now, I'd jump out in an instant. I was slowly going crazy. 

"Would you mind keeping it down?" I groaned in frustration at the pizza. "Some people want to leave the oven deliciously baked, and ready to be eaten."

"Oh you poor dear." Extra Cheesy Bacon Pizza crooned. "How does it feel to not be delicious looking all day? God, it must be terrible not to look as appetizing as moi! Don't you want a piece of me? I know I do!"

I just about chucked a blueberry at him, just to mess up those perfect toppings of his, and ruin his adorable little bacon pieces, and destroy the lovely image of his crust. So smooth...

Snap outta it!

That piece of crust was the... ugliest thing ever! And...and...his extra layer of cheese was probably not the best brand. Plus...erm, he probably got his dough rolled by some old guy with dirty hands! Yeah, that's right! He's not even that attractive!

"I'm not that attractive?" Dough Boy laughed until a drop of his tomato sauce almost dripped off.

Damn it! I gotta stop thinking out loud.