to the beautiful you / sakook

Ch. 4

I sat on the benches near the soccer field and watch the soccer team play. It was a sunny day and I didn't brought an umbrella to shade myself from the sun. I put my hand above my head to cover my face from the sun. Suddenly, someone sat beside and covered my with his umbrella. It was Jihan. "Don't look at me like that! You look like you're cursing me." he said. I looked away and felt awkward.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Nothing. I just want to see the soccer team play." I said.

He gave the soccer team a mad look since all of the member of the soccer team are all handsome and has well-built bodies. "By the way, who's that guy you were talking to?" he asked. I knew it! He was looking at us! I could really feel it! What should I do? Just tell him that you are not dating him. Dating? No! You're just friends! That's right! Friends only!

"We're just friends!" I explained.

"Friends?"

"Yes! Friends. I just met him yesterday, I mean, today. He thought I was friendly and a good friend. That's all."

"Why do you sound like you're defending him? Are you guys dating?"

Shit. "No. Never! As I told you, we are just friends!"

"Okay, as you said, friends."

Again, a moment of awkward silence. God! I hate this kind of situation! "Do you like ice cream? I'll treat you!" I asked. "Whoa! You never treat me before." he said. "Then, I'll treat you no. Let's go!" I said and grabbed his hand and left the bench. We went to a nearby convenience store and bought ice cream. "Thank you!" he whispered. "Ah! Stop! You're creepy!" I said. Suddenly, I saw Suho waving at me and saying hello. I acted as if I didn't see him but Jihan saw him. "Oh? It's that Jihan?" he asked.

"Who?" I asked.

"Your friend, Suho. He's waving hello at you."

"I can't see him. Oh! I still have class. Let's go!" I grabbed his hand again went quickly to school.

"How can a girl be so rude?" Suho mumbled.

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Class ended and everyone are going home. Yuna and Soo young went home first while I stayed at the library and studied all the lessons I have missed. I was having a hard time to understand everything. It's too much. I feel like my brain is going to explode. Suddenly, I though about Jihan when he shared his umbrella with me. Why has he not changed? Even a bit? He is still the Jihan I have met since freshmen year.

"Studying at this hour?" someone said. I saw Ms. Park walking towards me. She sat on the other side of the table. I stood up and bowed before her. "You should be at home now." she said.

"Well, I don't like studying at home. My mom distracts me always." I explained.

"Oh..Well, I can hardly see that you're having a hard time. Would you like me to help you?" She asked

"Oh, um, thank you Ms. Park." I said. She helped me with understand everything and thank God I understand everything now. We finished at 7 pm. We both walked out of the school up until the bus stop. "Suji." she called. "Yes, Ms. Park?" I said.

"I'm sorry if I'm asking you this but are you still mad about Jihan?" she asked.

Huh! Am I really still mad about Jihan? Well, Every time I see him I feel comfortable and secured. Whenever I hear his voice I feel safe. Whenever he touches my hand, I feel relieved. Whenever I think about him, I go crazy. But I never really thought of being mad about him these days. Well, if you talk about what happened before, it breaks my heart so much.

"I don't think so. Why, Ms. Park?" I asked. We stopped from walking. She took both of my hands. Her hands were really cold.

"Suji, I know it doesn't seem like you're mad at him. But I can feel that you still have that grudge stuck in your heart. I've been there. I'm talking to you not as a teacher but as a sister; a mother. I know you're still mad about Jihan. And I'm asking for an apology to you." she said.

The world suddenly stopped. The past started to recall everything. I felt like being stabbed in the back. "You shouldn't be sorry for it, Ms. Park. I'm sorry but that's between me and Jihan." I said, I took off my hands from her and went inside the bus. She was still there standing; frozen.

I suddenly remembered everything that happened to us.

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Two weeks has passed and Jihan is still not talking to me. He gives me bright smiles but talks to me. He doesn't even give me calls, texts, or anything. He eats with his friends from the swimming team and he goes home with his friends from his class. I don't know what has happened to him and it worries me. I tried talking to him once but he refused.

One night, I went to the beach. I sat there alone thinking what has happened to Jihan. I was thinking when I said that I was going abroad. Ever since I had a relationship with Jihan my family didn't like him. Just because both of are families are in bad terms. His dad is a business man who is in compete with my dad, who is also  business man. Before my brother would hire someone to beat Jihan and threaten him not to talk me or else he would die. He avoided me once he couldn't help but talk to me. We once escaped and went to a far place but everything got worse. My dad almost wanted to kill him. His dad talked to me not to talk to Jihan again. Until one day, My dad sent me abroad secretly without Jihan knowing. My phone confiscated by my dad. I couldn't even use anything that would contact Jihan.

I was walking back home when I saw someone, also in the beach. I think they are couples who are fighting. But went closer and gave them a clearer look. It was Jihan but who is the girl. She turned around and it was Go Nara. I froze and felt like I being shot multiple times.

Nara and I were friends since sophomore year. I was the first one to be her friend since she was a transfer student and she hasn't made friends yet. We both shared secrets and beautiful memories together. She never really like Jihan because he is too busy of his swimming competitions. Suddenly, they started talking to each other and bonding like they were real friends. And then, she suddenly changed her character. She became rude and ignorant. She doesn't talk to me anymore. I talk to her once but it turned out as a fight. She cursed at me and slapped me many times. Since then, we didn't talk to each other. She did everything to embarrass me also Yuna and Sooyoung.

I felt anger and rage. When she turned around she saw me and also stood frozen. I walked up to her and slapped her in the face.

"How dare you do this to me?" I said. I couldn't help but let out everything that has been raging in my heart for years. "How dare you stab me in the back? What did I do for you to have revenge?" I added.

"Suji-" she said.

"Suji! Stop it!" Jihan said. I slapped him also. "How could you do this to me?" I asked.

I ran out of the scene cause I don't want to cause a bigger trouble. He grabbed my hand and hugged me tightly. I felt so much pain. "Please! Don't leave!" he said. I took him off of me. "Well, you just made me leaver more." I said and left. I went home crying and so much in pain. My brother saw me and decided to bring me abroad with him.

Ever since, I never saw him anymore. It was hard for me to leave him but it was also hard for me to stay and get myself hurt.