Glee - Falling Apart

Chapter 1

Sam Evans sighed, as he ran his hand through his hair. He was getting fed up with his stupid brain. He couldn't even solve these basic math questions he had for homework. At the rate he was going, he wouldn't finish his math homework until very late. And he still had a pile of other stuff he had to do.

"Sam!" Carole called from downstairs. "Pizza's here."

Sam groaned. He'd forgotten that tonight was pizza night.

"Coming!" He called back down.

When he got to the table, everyone else was already there.

"Mmm, thanks so much Carole, this looks great," Burt said.

Sam was still so grateful that Burt and Carole had let him stay with them. It was still a little awkward, but it was beginning to feel almost like home.

Carole put a slice on his plate. "You can always get another if you'd like," she told him.

Eating only one piece made him feel awful. He knew he'd have to work out for hours, just to burn the amount of calories in this one slice.

"Thanks," he lied. "But I had a really big lunch today. I doubt I'll even be able to finish this first piece."

Finn looked at him confused. "Dude, you hardly touched your lunch today."

Shit. He had totally forgotten that he had eaten lunch with Finn "Um, yeah I had something this afternoon, right after my run. Sorry, got the days mixed up."

Finn looked at him in confusion, but everyone else seemed to accept that answer.

After Sam had finished eating his slice of pizza, he helped clean up. He felt bad that he had invaded their home, so he always made sure to help them out. After the dishes were done, he went back to his room. He needed to finish his homework, and he wouldn't be able to in the morning. He had to get to school early so he could work off the pizza.

Five hours later, he had finally finished his homework. He was extra careful about it, and he felt like he had gotten it all right. His math teacher always liked them to correct their work, so Sam went to the answer part of his textbook.

He marked x, after x. He finished, and looked back at his work. His eyes filled with tears. He had hadn't gotten even one question right. He was useless, and stupid. He hated himself.

Sam reached into his drawer, and grabbed something. He knew that if anyone found out about this, he'd be in a lot of trouble. But he didn't care. He needed this.

He pulled down his pants, fingering the cuts he had made on his thigh the night before. He hated the fact that he did this. But he needed it. He needed to hurt himself. He needed to punish himself for failing math, for eating that slice of pizza.

He needed this to feel alive.

__________________________

Sam winced as he took off the bandages, revealing the cuts he had made the night before. He had to quickly change the bandage before someone else came into the gym. He was normally the only person in here this early in the morning, but he still wanted to be careful.

He cleaned up his cuts, and wrapped up his leg. He moved to cleaning up the mess of bloody tissues he had left on the bench. He was humming to himself, in his own world. He didn't notice when someone walked in.

"Sam, what the hell dude?"

Sam turned around. He saw Finn standing in the door. He quickly threw out the blood covered bandages and tissues.

"Um, hey dude. What's up?" He asked, his voice shaking. He was hoping Finn wouldn't understand what was going on. And he was really hoping Finn wouldn't tell his mom - or even worse, Quinn.

"What happened?" Finn asked.

"Oh I just tripped and skinned my thigh. It's nothing, really," Sam quickly said, praying that Finn would drop this.

"Um ok," Finn said, suspiciously.

Sam got back to his work out. He glanced at the clock, and realized there'd be no way he could work off that slice of pizza this morning.  But he figured that if he didn't eat anything at lunch, and than went for a run after school, he'd be ok.

He was so caught in his weight plan, that he didn't see all the worried looks Finn was giving him.

The bell rang, and the two boys were about to split and go opposite directions.

"Hey man," Finn said. "You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"

Sam froze. Had people already figured it out? What an idiot he was, thinking that he could hide this from everyone. He was disgusted by himself.

"Sam?"

Shit. He had totally forgotten Finn was still there.

"Yeah man," he replied, putting a fake smile on his face. "I'm fine though. Promise."

And than Sam walked to math class, leaving Finn standing there. Finn could tell there was something going on, but he didn't know what. He'd keep an eye out for Sam.

___________________________

Sam scanned the lunch room crowd, looking for his glee friends, and his girlfriend Quinn. He found them sitting at their usual table.

"Hey babe," he said to Quinn.

Quinn looked up, and smiled at him. "How's your day been so far?" She asked him.

"Better now that I've seen you," he replied.

The sad thing was how much he meant that. Lately, it had felt like his world was turning upside down, and he hated that. But Quinn always made it better. He was so happy they were back together. He hated the fact that she had cheated on him, but he'd forgiven that a long time ago. And he really needed someone to love these days.

"We were just talking about the glee club assignment this week," Mike piped in.

This weeks glee club assignment was to come up with a set list for regionals. Anybody who wanted to, could perform a song they thought the glee club should do for regionals.

Sam smiled, as he listened to his friends throw ideas back and forth. He was getting excited about glee rehearsal this afternoon.

Ring.

Everyone got up, heading to class. Sam went to dump out his food. He had managed to not eat any of his spaghetti. He had mastered the "push your food around your plate so that it looks like you've eaten a lot" trick. He smiled to himself. He was currently at 0 calories today. If he squeezed in a run after glee club, he'd be great. He'd even be able to eat a bit of dinner that evening.

He smiled to himself as he walked to his next class.

A/N
Hope that you guys like this chapter! Comment anything you want! I'm hoping this will be a longer story. Don't worry, this is just the beginning.
(And sorry to all the Samcedes shippers. I love them together, but my favourite was Fabrevans.)
Thanks!
-K
P.S.
I do NOT own glee. This story was created by me, all the characters are owned by the amazing Ryan Murphy. If I did own glee, Sam would always be shirtless. 😉