InstaBryce | Bryce Hall

18. ✔️Cayla✔️

"MIKEY!" I scream as he walks through the door, attacking him with a hug the first chance I get. He chuckled and hugged me back, then pulled me off of him.

"I missed you around," he says with a smile. I haven't seen him in a whole month and a half. I've been pretty preoccupied with my friend, Britt, my older sister, Sage, and Cameron since I've gotten back.

"We have to make up for the time lost," he demands. I nod my head and laugh. Mikey and I both snap our heads towards the door as we see Bryce's car pull up in my driveway.

I roll my eyes. "Here we go," I mutter. Mikey squeezes my arm gently, when Bryce walks in.

Damn, he makes sweats and a t-shirt look like a million bucks, I thought, just before we made eye-contact.

"H-hi," he stammers, shifting his eyes between the ground, Mikey, and me.

"We'll talk in a little bit," Mikey says, directing his words towards Bryce. "I'll just go chill in your room, if that's okay with you," he tells me. I nod shyly, knowing I have to do this on my own. Mikey can't help me now.

"Uhm," Bryce starts, clearing his throat. "I just want to start off by saying I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said the things I said about you and my friends. I shouldn't have taken out my anger on you and I should've thought before I went to social media. That's not fair to you or anyone else and I..I'm sorry," he breathes, waiting patiently yet nervously for my input. He scratches the hair behind his ear in an awkward way, but to me it looks cute.

I need to stand my ground.

"Yeah, what else?" I huff, crossing my arms.

He sighs, not surprised at my reaction.

"I shouldn't have gotten so angry about Cameron. We didn't have labels, and we didn't make it known to each other that we had those feelings, I guess. It didn't matter what your reasoning was; you're not my property," he smiled weakly, as if he was finally figuring that out.

"And as for Halle, I just kind of....used her to make you mad," he whispered, shamefully sinking his head down low.

"And before you say anything," he continued, snapping his head back and up and gesturing with his hands with expression.

"I know it was wrong. It still is wrong and so...on the way here, I....dumped her. I don't expect you to forgive me. I'd still be glad I made that choice of ending it with her. It was wrong of me to be with her when I wasn't in it for the right reasons," he admits.

"I forgive you," I say with a weak smile.

"You do?" His grin is so wide it looks like it's hanging off of his face. He walks closer to me and hugs me tightly.

God, did I miss Bryce. I know he's not been the best to me lately, but I can't help but want to be next to him. I can't help but think of what it would be like if we were together, in a perfect world. No distractions; just us and the ones we love.

But no matter how much I want that to happen, there's also another boy in my life. A boy that is, in a way, more like a man.

He's much more mature, and I know that I'm safe when I'm with him. I have a sense of security with him because he could take care of me. He's strong, he's wise, he's serious about things but also laid-back and goofy. He doesn't think too much and doesn't get in touch with his emotions; he doesn't let them consume him. He is easygoing, and I always have a good time with him. He seems to have control of his life. He knows what he wants from life and what he has to offer it.

Bryce is a boy. Bryce is wreckless with his actions and decisions. His morals are scattered and confused, just like his thoughts. He, unlike Cameron, let's his emotions consume him.

He has so many things going on in his head at all times; sometimes it's so difficult for me to understand. On his good days, he's beautiful. He is the kindest and gentlest soul I've ever known. On his bad days, he's still beautiful. Because even though there's a storm brewing and being Bryce, he overreacts because he doesn't know what to do, he's unpredictable.

And there is something incredibly mysterious and sexy about the unpredictable; the unknown. Just like the lightning that glows up the sky when it storms, Bryce ignites the same kind of illuminating, breathtaking light, and I can't get enough of it.

And then there's the fact that when I kiss Cameron, I notice how his lips aren't as soft as Bryce's. (Yes, we kissed once or twice.) When I look at his eyes, they are brown. But, they're not as dark as Bryce's; not so mysterious and secretive, but at the same time warming your heart. I look at Cameron's smile and I don't get the same thump in my chest. I don't feel the same jolt of energy and excitement that runs through me when I look at him.

In fact, even when I'm with Cameron my thoughts are mostly thoughts of Bryce.

But who I want, and who I need: those are two different things.

Bryce pulls back enough so that we are both looking each other in the face. He has the happiest expression painted on his face.

"But I just want to be friends," I finish.
That's when his smile started to fade, and he hid it with a fake one, just as I masked my own emotions.