InstaBryce | Bryce Hall

69. ??Bryce??

My mind had been struggling with something for a few days.

Jackson and I are pretty close friends, and I can tell when something is wrong under the surface. I value our friendship and I KNOW something is up. My theory is that something else is going on other than what he got so "mad" at all of us about.

He's still acting weird, at least with me. I can't help but think that he wanted to keep the distance from our group for another, deeper reason.

He totally overreacted. Everybody is too scared to admit it, but he was out of line if Aaron was the only reason he was upset. There's something else.

I noticed Jackson sitting in Cay's computer room on the black sofa, zoned out and all alone. I didn't see him talk to anyone since he got here.

"Hey bro!" I waved with a smile, sitting down beside him. He quickly turned his head the other direction, after giving me a weak, fake smile in response.

"What's going on with you?" I asked out of concern.

He raised his eyebrows. "What do you m-," he started to ask, but I cut him off.

"Tell me. Now," I demand. He sighed deeply, making eye contact with me for the first time.

"I've.... grown feelings for you, Bryce," he mumbled, avoiding direct eye contact. My nerves almost doubled when the words flew out of his mouth. I didn't want to, but I instantly felt uncomfortable. Involuntarily, I looked at him in a way I didn't want to: an outsider. Jackson was family, but it felt like he just crossed a line.

Of course I knew Jackson was gay and attracted to guys, but I never would have seen this coming. We spend so much time together, I consider us brothers. Besides, he has a boyfriend. A boyfriend who is very much in love with him, and who I thought Jackson was very much in love with.

"What are you talking about? What about Dylan?" I asked, trying to mask the surprise in my voice.

Jackson shook his head, swallowing and gulping repetitively to keep himself from crying. I could see the guilt written on his face.

"Believe me, I've tried so, so hard to get rid of how I feel. That's why things have been so weird, but it's just not working. Nothing is working and even Dylan still suspects something; I know it. I don't act the same when I'm with him. I can't act the same, because my heart is somewhere else and I wish I could change that... but unfortunately, I can't," he rubbed his eyes in distress.

I took a deep breath, trying to process what just occurred.

"Why all of the sudden? What I don't understand is how we could be so close and you're just coming out with this now?" I ask.

Jackson shook his head. "If I had any answers, I would give them to you. I don't know why and I don't know how, but I do know I can't erase how I feel, Bryce," he stresses with concern.

"I don't know what to tell you, Jackson," I mutter.

He nodded, the disappointment reaching his eyes. "I know you don't. This is why I never wanted to tell you!" He quickly stormed off, wiping tears from his eyes as he ran out of the door.

"Bryce?" I heard footsteps and Cayla's voice simultaneously. She emerged from the other room, her eyes following the door. "I head yelling.What's going on?" She questioned. She seemed to have spotted Jackson, running to his car. "Are you responsible for this?" She looked at me disapprovingly.

I tried to think of something—anything—to say, but I couldn't find the words. My mouth moved, but nothing came out. Frustrated, Cayla let out an exasperated sigh. "I guess I'll go after him. You don't seem to be giving me any answers."

"No!" I quickly and unexpectedly shouted. Cayla raised her eyebrows in curiosity. "I'll handle it. Don't worry about it, babe," I reassure her.

I didn't want this messing up her friendship with Jackson somehow, too. She nodded, a strange look on her face. It's as if she knew I was hiding something, but chose to keep quiet. She walked away, still disappointed. I slipped on my shoes and thought of what to say to him as I opened the door. I tried to find him, but couldn't see him anywhere. I realized he was already in his car, and there's no way I could catch him.

I let him drive off, and sighed with my back against the door, my hands rubbing my face.

I hope this all blows over.