Why can't I just die already
I want this pain to end
I want to be released from the torment I got through every day
And yet the one person I know I can never have is the only thing keeping me here
I know I'll never be by his side in anyway
He's too good and I'm just not strong enough
So why do I still hold onto that image of him smiling at me.
I'm scared that I I say something I'll embarrass myself and it will ruin everything
Then what do I have to live for?....
So why don't I do it
Why do I keep pushing it off and telling myself that things will get better that someday my life will piece itself together and that one day I'll be as happy as I was when I was younger
That maybe one day I'll be able to find the someone who will hold me tight at 4am and tell me that everything is alright even when it's not
I just hope that they come soon,
Because my time here is almost done
I can't stand it any longer
I want to die
So why don't I?
