NEW Campus Crush (boyxboy)

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OCTOBER

To my fated beloved...

It's finally October, my birth month.

I didn't tell any of my friends my birthday was around the corner. I don't know if I'm in the mood to celebrate it, and if I was, I'd rather do it with my family.

So far, the only person making life at this school bearable is...

I'm afraid to write his name. I hide these letters well, but I'm no fool. I guess I could describe him in a way that only I can understand.

He is thoughtful. And unbelievably gracious. He has a generous spirit. Some of the words he tells me are worthy of being written as poetry. He's a storyteller. When he smiles, it's for no one else but me.

We aren't officially dating, and I don't know if I can ever ask that of him. Whatever we are, it's still new. And to be honest, it's strange to write these things to you.

Maybe, somewhere in the recesses of my heart, I'm hoping that you're him.

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I was relieved when the weekend arrived. That usually meant that the campus would be empty as students spent the next couple of days at home.

I needed the silence. I needed to be alone.

I'd been feeling nothing short of overwhelmed since the moment I stepped foot in college.

Nash was busy packing his smallest suitcase. I found out from him that Ava was headed home too. Thank God. We'd managed to steer clear of each other for the past week since our blowout.

"You're staying here this weekend?" Nash asked.

I had my face buried in A Frozen Heartbeat. I looked up at him. "Yep."

"Oh. What about Lucas? It's Friday night. I thought he was moving out. I've been trying to talk to him, but... well, he's not interested."

Right. They had a blowout of their own too. Our friend group was a hot mess.

"Actually, he's staying," I informed, sitting up straighter.

"Oh! That's good! He didn't deserve to be kicked out."

"Yeah. Maybe you two can make up. Right?" I raised one eyebrow.

"Not unless you make up with Ava."

My lips tightened. "Doubtful."

"Exactly."

"Hey, before you go..." I set aside the book, but not before marking the page I was on. "When I overheard your fight with Lucas, I might've heard you say that you're afraid you ruined your chance with me."

He paused for a second, giving me his undivided attention. His eyes pierced mine from across the room. "Did I? Ruin it?" The hesitation in his tone was louder than his words.

I sighed, closing my eyes for a brief moment. This was tiring. "You didn't need to. You and I... we never would've worked. And I, um, I like someone else."

He tossed his head back in exasperation. "How do I compete with that, Cas?"

"You can't compete, Nash. I'm sorry."

He stared at the floor, biting his cheek to keep his emotions at bay. I didn't want to break his heart, but he was never truly invested in me to begin with.