Why Am I Like This

Chapter 3

It was another usual morning for Yoongi, which basically consisted of Namjoon throwing whatever he could to wake the latter up. With struggle, Yoongi opened his eyes. Yoongi had never liked mornings (or just waking up in general) for as long as he could remember. Watching the ceiling through blurred eyes a voice followed by heavy footsteps cut through the silence.

"Yo Yoongi, you can't sit and mope in bed all day." The voice huffed "c'mon were gonna be late otherwise." Namjoon bent down and ruffled Yoongi's hair "c'mon you big baby I'll meet you downstairs."

Yoongi swung his legs off the side of the bed and yanked his body up. He lugged himself downstairs to be greeted by Namjoon's mum and the scent of freshly cooked food. He managed a small head nod in greeting. Dragging himself to the counter he took a plate of food and sat opposite Namjoon. Yoongi noticed that his movements today were very sluggish, this really isn't going to be my day, is it? Staring at the food, he completely got lost in thought. should I just call in sick today, wait how many days have I actually been in, well technically I could sta-

"Yoo-hoo, Sugaaaaaa." A voice brought Yoongi out of his thoughts. Looking up he saw Namjoon. Even though it took him a while, he could see the concern on the latter's face. Yoongi forced a small smile to put Namjoon at ease. Only half of his breakfast had been eaten and he knew at some point he was going to get a lecture about eating again, but recently he just simply couldn't eat the amount he should.

Namjoon ushered Yoongi to get a move on, "Me and Jin will leave you behind if you're not ready."

"Yah, you leave before I'm ready and you won't live to see tomorrow." He replied.

"Aish, the nerve on this boy." Namjoon muttered back.

It didn't take long for Yoongi to get dressed and he returned downstairs to find Jin and Namjoon talking. hang on, when did Namjoon get dressed? Was he dressed at breakfast? Shit I'm losing it. He looked around, he knows he's missing something, he just can't figure it out.

"Yo, Suga, what are looking for? I've got your bag, mum packed it for you." Namjoon questioned.

"Ah, thanks." Yoongi replied.

Namjoon handed Yoongi's bag to him, "You got your phone though?"

Yoongi scoffed, "Yeah, you know I wouldn't leave the house without it."

Namjoon shook his head, "That's only why I asked."

"Um, Joonie do you still have my notes I lent you?" Jin cut in

"Yeah they're in my room, do you wanna go grab em." Namjoon answered, Smiling with his signature dimple smile. As Jin made his way up the stairs Namjoon turned towards Yoongi, "Suga you ready?" Yoongi stayed silent and replied with a frown. "Yoongi?" Namjoon queried, "I know I practically dragged you out of bed but... are you sure you wanna come with us today? It's, ah, well... you don't seem with us... look, maybe you should stay at home today."

Yoongi scoffed again, "Really?"

"Please, Yoongi. I'm just concerned." Namjoon spoke calmly.

"I'M FINE!" Yoongi shouted as he stormed out the door, accidentally pushing Namjoon out of the way in the process. He started to feel himself lose control and, thankfully, the closest thing to him a wall. knowing that somehow he needed to release his anger he aimed for the wall, he refuses to hurt any more people. laying punch after punch against the bricks, faster and faster. Namjoon caught up to him. Trying to stop Yoongi from hurting himself, Yoongi, (as a reflex) punched and pinned Namjoon against the wall. Namjoon readied himself for another punch, but was luckily met with nothing.

"SUGA!" Jin yelled. he was half enraged because Yoongi had punched Namjoon and half worried because the amount of blood seeping from Yoongi's knuckles. Torn on where to run, he hoped Namjoon could handle Yoongi. Turning towards the house he went to get the first aid kit out and ready to use. I hope they will both be okay.

Yoongi dropped Namjoon and stood looking at the boy. Namjoon peeled himself from the floor and wrapped his arms around the latter in a tight grip "Yoongi?" He whispered, "Please, calm down. It's okay." he loosened his grip on the boy and placed his hands on Yoongi's shoulders.

Yoongi started to feel the throbbing in his knuckles and tears began to glaze his eyes. He wasn't one for crying, but he never meant to hurt Namjoon (or any person for that matter of fact). The injuries he had inflicted on the latter were noticeable. The red mark that covered Namjoon's jaw Yoongi knew was going to turn a bluey purple. From the way he winced in pain every time he moved too quickly Yoongi knew he'd hurt him. Tears pooled in his eyes as he stared at Namjoon, "I-I'm sorry Joon-ah." He sniffled as he tried to run away.

Namjoon held him in place and replied with a calming tone, "It's okay, I'm fine. Let's get you back inside and patch your hands up, yeah?" Giving his signature smile once again he removed his hands from Yoongi's shoulders and put an arm around his back to guide him to the house. Yoongi wanted to yell, you're not okay, look at what I did to you, I'm a monster. But all he could manage was to feel guilty, "Okay." Why after all these years, why is Namjoon so nice to me? I don't deserve him.
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A/N - I really wanted to thank the people who are reading this. I know it might be difficult to understand, but I really do love to write and every read gives me confidence to correct the rest and republish this story!