The Past Of Me

Four

I was living in the dark. I completely shut down. I didn't want to talk to anybody. I let Bristol in more than others. Even though we were best friends she didn't find out about me getting beaten on until a couple months ago in October.

Shutting down was my way of coping with my feeling. I was anorexic until I started eating again a couple years later and became known as the "fat" kid in elementary school. When I turned four I only socialized with Bristol. I rarely ever talked to my family. I was a quiet shy little thing that was too shy to make a move. I know that we were only in preschool at the time, but all I remember is Bristol always answering the questions be asked by the teacher and me hiding in the back wishing I was dead. I was so scared to wear anything but long sleeve shirts and pants. Ever since those few moments when I would actually talk in class, I would either cry or scream. 

All throughout my fourth year I was shy scared and hopeless. There were field trips to farms and field trips to go discover farms. Bristol always used to be more social than I was. I would sit all alone and not want to bug anyone for fear that they would be mad at me. That resulted in never talking to people and me only ever having Anna in pre-k. 

Bristol and I began quickly. We started off saying one or two words to coming back the next day with countless stories upon stories. With each day growing closer and closer, it was tough when we would occasionally be separated when she would be gone a couple weeks at a time due to her stupidity of eating dairy. I know I have the same problem as her but even back then I was smart enough not to eat dairy.

Every day was an adventure even if I was to scared to do anything.