Burnt Cigarettes [Baekhyun]

End

3 years into our marriage she had finally spoken about something that I had found out a week before our wedding day.

She knew that I had known all along.

Probably that's why she stayed quiet on her behalf. Or probably she was frightened that I might make a leave after finding out about her condition. After all I changed my religion, name, everyday routines just for her happiness.

Just to be with her I left everything behind.

___

I still remember her small frown, dried tears on her tanned cheeks, beads of sweat on her forehead and that last shaky breath that really tore me to reality.

"Baekhyun," she called out my real name sadly, first time in our 3 years of together. Right there I felt a soft pull on my heartstrings. It was a sign for me to understand our reality. It was also a sign that I ignored.

"What is it Rabia?" I ask back, trying to keep away my nervousness. My hands sweated with no sign off stopping every other second I would rub them off to the side of my pants.

What felt like years was a minute that took her to speak out once more. "Baekhyun I'm pregnant."

The excitement was real but the truth was not.

In those moments everything started falling in place just like the day I first found out. She was going to die, the day she gives birth was the day she was going leave my side. I read her doctor reports many years ago, but didn't care. All I wanted was her. All I needed was her.

I never even brought up having a child knowing that would only hurt her. I always thought that one day we would go to an orphanage and choose out a child a for us so then no problems would occur.

That man that would meet her during our small meetings was her husband. He pressured her into having a child while knowing that she wouldn't live.

She didn't want to die. She didn't deserve to.

She would ignite those cigarettes because he hated the smell of them. So he would stay away from her while she had them out.

Her love for me was never there although she respected me and cared for me like any good wife would.

She never returned the words "I love you." This marriage for her was an escape from the people that hurt her.

And I was ok with that.

___

Her words still echo through the walls at night while I hold my daughter tight. I'm still mindful of her sad smiles when we planned our daughters arrival. She never let me on that she was hurting.

I didn't need to.

Holding her against my chest, caressing her hair softly, whispering about how everything was going to be a alright was enough for her.

Those final days were the best.

And I'll never regret loving her through her worst and best.

___

Her final words to me were enough to make me the happiest man alive. Everything was worth it as long as she was in my mind.

"Baekhyun, I love you"

And to think our love story began from a bunch of burnt cigarettes.