UNGROUNDING

Chapter 3

'So wait; indeed we along with you, are waiting'
-Quran (9:52)

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I got married to Naim to fulfil the promise that my father made to his.
A promise that my mother mentioned to me after my father passed on.

I was bitter and sad. I had to let go of the feeling I had for Anwar. The Anwar, who so whole heartedly loved me and who was ready to do anything for me.

He was to come and ask for my hand in marriage the next week prior to the release of the news.

I was hurt and disappointed. But since I loved my father more I accepted my fate and decided to give Naim a chance. Anwar understood my situation and he also agreed.

“Anwar are you mad?” I whispered into the phone.

“No not at all habibty I understand your situation. Just know that whatever happens I will be here for you. My love for you will always remain no matter what happens” he said in a bitter tone.

“Anwar, you are making me tear, this is not fair…why should this happen...”

“Don’t say that Sara it’s all been planned by Allah, you just have to accept it. Just put in mind all what I have told you. Don’t forget. Maasalam”

No one knows about Anwar not even my closest of friends. I was afraid of telling anyone, afraid of jinxing it. But I guess it just jinxed itself.

Anwar is now happily married with a beautiful daughter. Maybe because he got tired of being single or maybe he fell in love. Well not all men mean what they say right? Plus he deserves a happy life. Who am I to deny him that to make him wait for me? Me who is now desperately in love with Naim. I must admit that my feelings for Anwar have faded. And is now occupied by my yours truly. 

I sat up straight realizing I had zoned out and that I am no longer interested in the cartoon that was on TV.

I switched it off and stood up; heading to the kitchen I switched on the kitchen lights, pacing to the fridge I got myself a tube of ice cream. Well, now my head was aching and I needed some caffeine to soothe my head. I love coffee. So I made a cup of coffee while I munched on my pistachio and nuts ice cream.

Yeah, I know it’s not good for the teeth mixing hot and cold stuff, but I don’t care less about that. I had bigger problems to deal with.

Cup of coffee in hand I left the kitchen switching off the lights as I walked out. I need fresh air. I thought to myself.

So I decided to head to the front porch where there were nice reed woven seats that I so loved. I sat down feeling the night breeze sweep by giving me goose bumps on my bare arms.

Holding the cup carefully with both hands I lifted my feet up and folded them staring straight into the illuminated garden. I didn’t have to worry about being attacked or anything of that sort.

We lived in a very posh secure neighbourhood. Our house is a bungalow with a very beautiful large garden and ample parking space for my husband’s cars. We had CCTV cameras installed in very corner of the compound. And a security guard positioned at the gate. I am sure that lousy guy is in slumber land at the moment.

I sip my coffee which was as bitter as my mood right now. I forgot to put in some sugar.

Since I am not ready to get up and make a trip back to the kitchen, this will have to do for now. I just sat there eyes closed taking in large breaths of air. It soothed me and I was already starting to feel drowsy. I continue to sip on my coffee which is now turning cold as I just sat there emotionless.

I just want this to end. To wake up and realize it was all just a dream. To have my normal life back. This was far from normal this was insane.  Considering that I was now sleeping alone in the big master bedroom. My husband refused to sleep with me. He only comes back when he needs to satisfy his needs. Otherwise, his always in the guest room.

Sometimes when his mother is away he would be all nice and lovey dovey. Sending me mixed signals. At times I think that his putting on a show to please his mother. During such times, I never mention how cruelly he treats me I just live in the moment and enjoy it as it lasts.

I am running out of patience I am not a toy. I am not stupid. I know what he does to me is wrong and unfair, but what to do?

I love him so much that I can bare all the pain he inflicts me. Call me naïve. Call me a weakling. But I am far from that, and Naim knows that.

I am a first class honour student with a degree in actuarial science. Since Naim is a very successful and wealthy business man it was decided that I need not work he will provide me with everything I needed.

Unfortunately, I think respect was not in the package. I agreed because I had no choice. It was more of a command than a suggestion. I had just graduated a month back and I had no job that could hold me back. Life was good at first until it started going in a downward spiral.

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Longest chapter so far, or so i think.😅

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