Eclipse

1: recovery

Isabella^^

I comfortably sit in my open window seal, reading a book I found under my bed. It's not half bad. I wonder why I haven't read it before? I look up and see my dad plowing the fields in the distance.

I could easily hear that old red tractor from here. That rust bucket. The thing is louder than a screaming child. I shake my head and watch the trees dance in the gentle wind. A soft breeze blows through my hair, making me close my eyes in contentment. I listen to the birds sing their hearts out, making me smile happily. I feel so free.

My smile falters when I think of being free. Freedom. I shake my head of the thought and stand up abruptly. Nope. Not going to think about it.

I bend the page of my book and lay it on my bed then quickly walk out of my room. I hear my mom cooking downstairs, so I decide I might as well join her to try and rid my thoughts of...you know. I skip down the steps and smile at my mom when I see her. Her blue apron is covered in flour and her hair ,that was once in a bun, is sticking out everywhere.

"Hey, mom. Need any help?" I ask.

She looks over to me, not noticing that I had come down. She smiles at me and shakes her head.

"It's fine, Bella. You go have fun." She says half heartedly.

I roll my eyes and walk ever to a pie that's waiting to be put in the oven. I pick it up and gently lay it in the oven.

"Mom, just let me help. It'll be easier." I argue.

She huffs but finally gives in. She hands me an apron and be both start to work.  I start frying up the fish she had already cleaned, while she laid out the biscuit dough to cut out. Once the dough is cut out, she opens the oven, pulls out the pie and puts the biscuits in.

I turn off the eye and put the fried catfish on a plate. There we go.

"Thanks sweetie. Hey, why don't you go outside and get some fresh air. Im just going to clean up here and head out myself." She says happily.

My good mood vanishes and I frown. No way am I going out there. I look at my mother, who looks so hopeful. But how can I say 'no'?

"I uh...I need to finish homework. I'll go out later." I say quickly then sprint to my room.

I hear my mother call after me but I just keep running. I slam my door shut and lock it quickly. Leaning against the door, I sigh and slide down it. I feel my hands shake uncontrollably so I clench them to make it stop. I take two big breathes to calm down and then shakily stand up. You are okay. You don't have to go outside...

After that night...I changed.

I went to the hospital and was diagnosed with PTSD. I'm so scared to go outside that it hurts to even think about. I know it's crazy but I feel like if I go outside, Im reliving what happened that night.

The darkness. The rain. The lightning. The fire. Everything.

I barely leave my room. It's been a year! An entire year and I haven't had the courage to step outside! I feel useless...

My mom knocks on my door softly and I jump from the sudden noise. When I don't respond, I hear her sigh and lean on my door.

"Please hon. J-just think about going out. You can't let this thing beat you." My mother says sadly.

Tears prick my eyes as I take in her words. She's right, I can't let it beat me. I sniffle and stand up shakily. You can do this, Isabella. I slowly turn around and touch the cold doorknob with the tips of my fingers. You got this...