stuff my teachers thought were notes lol

Happy Ending

tw for suicide. it's just a very depressing story in general

Happy endings are a myth

As I sit here with my back against the wall, my knees to my chest, hoping someone, anyone, will come to my rescue, I reminisce. I reminisce on the few good times (and the bad) of my life, trying to kill time before I kill myself.

The words Maya said to me before she left echoed in my head. "Stay alive. Things will get better. I love you." I'd hate to let her down but she lied. Everything only got worse. Once she left it was a downward spiral for me.

Maybe if I had heard those three words just one more time, I wouldn't be in this position, contemplating death. But alas, not everyone gets their happy ending. Instead, each day I heard a different three words. "Go kill yourself." The phrase was pounded into my head EVERYWHERE. At home while "dad" was drunk, which was conveniently always. At school, I luckily didn't have to suffer through the physical abuse, but the words hurt just as much- if not more- since they were fully aware of their words and the affect of them. The days "dad" actually did let me go to swim practice, I heard them there, too.

Of all, Coach Hansen was the worse. I think she sent me off the edge, as she was my only support and now it was gone. Up until 8th grade, she loved me and I loved her, too. But something changed. If I wasn't up to standards, now, instead of helping me get there, she lectured me on how I'd never get there. "You may as well stay in the water if you're not going to win, Kiera. Drown. That way at least you can say you died trying." "Just accept you're head of the loser club." The only good thing about swim was nobody could see my tears.

Sometimes she wouldn't even try to disguise her hate for me. "KILL YOURSELF!" "Why are you back? I thought you'd finally die, but no. Nobody ever cares about what I think." She could finally have her wish; she would never see me again.

I could never escape the the loop. Even when I was alone, my brain agreed with them. Nobody even wants you here. You'd be better off if you just leave . Ugly. Fat. Slut.

It's terrible how some people spend their final moments anticipating their last breath. I remember when Maya was still here, I couldn't even fathom that option. But now, I craved that moment in time. This is what "dad" wants. This is what they want. But most of all, this is what I want.

I took the pill bottle in my hand, reading the dosage. It said to take no more than 2 in 24 hours. I undid the safety seal and poured all thirty pills into the palm of my hand. Three at a time I swallowed the pills. My throat burned, since I used a bottle of vodka I stole from my "dad's" alcohol cabinet to wash them down. That way, if the sleeping pills don't work, at least I'd get alcohol poisoning or liver cancer or something. It took ten swigs to empty both my palm full of pills and the bottle of clear liquid.

It was the best choice I ever made. I was finally happy with myself, and I was sure everyone else was, too. I knew I may not have had a happy life, but at least I'd get my happy ending.

Everything soon went black, and I felt my limbs go limp, but I died smiling.

(602 words)