Letters To My Crush

Matthew

Dear Matthew,

Gosh Darned It. I feel like your the one that got away. It's not that you moved what seems like a million miles away, but more that I missed the only chance i could've possibly gotten with a guy like you. I look back and I wished I'd taken that chance. Hell if only I could've been a terrible person.

You see back in the day, when I missed my chance you were technically with my friend Rachel, do you remember Rachel? Do you ever think about her? Do you ever think about me? Even if you didn't know me that well. Well anyways back to the story. Back when I missed my chance at being the slightest bit happy with you, you were, well you weren't really with Rachel, but you had a friends with benefits relationship going on. Now I know now I shouldn't have counted that as a real relationship, but I knew Rachel, and I knew that even though she was to embarressed to admit it you were more than just a friend to her. So I didn't take the chance you so blantantly offered me. 

I wish I had taken my chance. I wish I hadn't wanted to be such a good friend, to a person I don't even talk to anymore. I wish that for once in my life I'd done something to make myself happy. Do I think we'd still be together now, five years later if I had taken my missed chance? Of course not, but I could've been happy. Happy for what? A night, week, a month, a year? Who knows? 

So here I am five years later wondering if you even remember me. I wish I had the guts to really ask you. I wish I could travel back in time and relive that night, but I guess maybe it just wasn't supposed to happen, not then, maybe not ever.

And maybe we'll meet again someday. I'll bump into you in a coffe shop, a bar, or maybe a grocery store, something so trivial and stupid. Maybe we'll fall in love, with two new people who we once knew, but were now completely new people in our lives. Maybe we'll just miss falling for each other. I'll find you when you just got engaged. Maybe I'll see you in a hospital right after your first child is born.

Maybe we're destined to keep missing each other, and maybe just maybe we're meant to be. I'll just have to except that for now I just don't know about us, and I guess I'm okay with that. I hope you're okay with that too.

Yours Always,

Rosie <3