Random poetry

Swamp

In my room, 

sitting in front of my tiny window at the side of my bed, 

with just enough space to provide light to shine through the glass pane, 

to touch the limbs of the plants I set there with a golden blanket of shine that makes the artificial dew sparkle as if it were morning again, 

watching them thinking of what my mother told me "let's get you a plant to filter the air in your room" it was a nice gesture but now I have them to keep me company, 

I know it seems funny to name plants but you don't know Gordon, Thomas, or Fletcher like I do, 

I know they don't talk back but sometimes it's just nice to know someone or something's listening, 

instead of filtering the air in my room they help filter my thoughts, 

because I don't talk to people about them, 

it's not that I don't have people to talk to it's just, 

if you knew you where someone's 2nd 3rd or 10th choice you wouldn't try to talk either, 

I feel like my anxiety drags me down, 

it's like I'm a prisoner that's been thrown in a lake with a ball and chain along my hands and feet, 

it makes it hard for me to get close to people without worrying what they'll think of me, 

and when I get close I am convinced they see the act that I set up. 

I feel like my anxiety drives people away, 

no, I feel like I drive people away by being myself and after I put down my front I always have on, people say "Izzy what's wrong, did something happen" 

YES, I took down this facade that I always keep up and now you think something is wrong with me, 

I feel like my anxiety is remolding the way I live, 

now I'm like a haunted house it's fun to visit once a year but no one would want's to stick around for very long or it'll be too scary, 

this house is covered in moss and rocks, 

my hair like vines cascading down from the rooftop so unkempt weaving their way down, 

my legs holding up this concaving structure, 

and if someone doesn't visit soon the house will fall down, 

but someday I hope someone will come by and help me unweave the vines and build up these concaved walls again,

and I will be rebuilt.