The Troublesome Tale of Robin Tyler

..::< The Reason - 8 >::..

    We sat in another uncomfortable silence, this time on the couch. Facing forward, looking down, not saying a word, for a solid three minutes now. We both made continuous efforts to begin speaking, but so far we both have failed. I knew I was ready to talk, and I wanted to stay serious and angry at him. But David had been trying so hard to make me happy and at home. I feel like I'd break his heart if I even raised my voice at him.

I took in a breath. "Seventeen years is a long time..." I finally began. "And when you're an orphan, it's a long time of feeling unloved, unwanted, abnormal, and- and a handful of other feelings." I choked, realizing I was failing at staying angry and instead my eyes were forcing back tears.

David stayed quiet another moment, wanting me to say more. My head fell to look at my hands, serious eye contact was always a problem for me.

My voice was now trembling, but I continued, "I don't think you realize how distraught I was to find out that I had family I could've gone to, but they didn't want me when I needed them." I sniffled, my eyes now burning but I refused to let tears fall. I had lived nearly my whole life being sad, now I wanted to be strong and angry.

My jaw clenched, "So you better have a good damn reason to have left me alone for seventeen fucking years. Without a call, without a letter, without an explanation."

When I finally looked over, David was weeping. It threw me completely off guard and I allowed my fake angry demeanor to fall.

"Before you were born, I was married." His voice was soft, and somehow calm even though tears had been falling from his dark eyes. 

"She was so beautiful... my highschool sweetheart. We'd only been married seven years, but I swear on my life we would've spent the rest of our lives together."

Would've. My chest tightened and I decided I didn't like where this story was going. 

"Three years before you were born, I had left the house to get us dinner. My pregnant wife decided to stay home. When I returned..." David choked on a sob, "It wasn't until I was at the front door that I had noticed the lock had been busted. I dropped everything and ran inside b-but I was too late."

My eyes stayed closed but the tears still fell down my face. David was holding his face, crying, but soon started to calm his breathing till he was able to talk again.

"The police concluded the crime scene as a robbery gone wrong-" He paused, now looking angry, "Never even caught the guy."

The man sighed deeply, and I sat still with nothing to say.

"I still blame myself for what happened, I should have been home with my wife and never left her side." David ran his hands through his dark hair, "I've convinced myself it was my fault and I could never even try protect a family again. I feared for that feeling of losing someone I loved that much again."

I looked at David with burning eyes, "So when I was born?..."

David shook his head, still not looking at me. Though I'm sure I couldn't bear the eye contact if he did. "When you were born and orphaned a few years later, I still hadn't... recovered. There was no way I could take in my sister's baby and take care of her the way she deserved to be. Especially because I knew I would fall in love with you just as quickly as I would've my own child. "

There was silence again. It pained me to not see my Uncle smiling. For the short amount of time I've known him, that seemed to be something he was always doing. 

Before I knew what I was saying, the words were already out of my mouth, "How did my parents die?" 

David's eyes finally met mine, they were bloodshot. He looked surprised, "When did you learn they were dead?"

My gaze fell down and I shrugged, "I had always just assumed... Now I guess it's been confirmed."

I wasn't lying. While I was growing up, I had selfishly hoped my parents were dead rather than thinking they just didn't want me and threw me out. Whether they were dead or not, I had convinced myself early on that they'd never be in my life and there was no use in hoping for anything other than that.

David ran his hands through his hair again and thankfully didn't protest against what I wanted answered. The only resistance he pushed was asking me, "Are you sure you want to know?"

The question scared me, but not enough to give in. I nodded my head.

Sighing, he spilled. "Your mother died shortly after giving birth to you. Your mothers passing hurt so many of her family and friends, but it broke your father the most. He fell to a harsh depression after your mother passed. It was him that left you at the Henderson's Foster Home. The only reason i know that is because he-" David seemed to have trouble finishing his sentence, "He wrote it in his..."

My eyes widened as I realized, "A suicide note?" My lips began quivering again.

Silence.

"So..." I stuttered, "So it's my fault they're both dead?"

This time David's eyes grew and he quickly grabbed my hands, "Robin don't you dare think that for a moment."

Angrily I pulled my hands away, "Oh don't be a hypocrite David! If you can blame yourself, then why can't I?!" I cried.

His movements paused and he dropped his hands, "Robin... it's different."

"How? How the hell is it any different?" I nearly yelled.

David only looked at me with his sad eyes. I tried staying calmer, but I wasn't strong enough to hold in all these emotions after learning so much. My eyes burned again and I finally let it all out. 

Without hesitating, David pulled me into his chest and held me tightly. I didn't resist, I wouldn't have had the strength too anyway. I buried my face in his shirt and soaked the fabric with my tears. I cried and cried till my body began to give out. Slowly my crying lulled me into sleep, and I heard David say one last thing before I fell asleep in his embrace.

"I promise I'll take care of you, Robin."