Music, Coffee, and Blood (A Frerard and Rikey Fanfiction)

The Suicide Note

I'm getting back in the groove guys!!!! okay so I have 1k reads on this! do u guys really like it?! thanks for sticking with me and keeping up with the story!!! smut and trigger warning~~~~~

Ray POV

I took Mikey's phone and started reading what he typed. There was a part to Gee and one to Frankie. The last part was to me. It read:

Ray, oh Ray.

I stopped for a second, Mikey was saying the words as i read them....he has this memorized?! I continued.

I have loved you since the day we met at that parade. Do you remember that? Even though it was years ago I still remember it like it was yesterday. I am sorry I'm telling you my feelings like this, but I can't live with myself anymore. I just hate myself to much. Dont be sad, Fro. And if you some how had feelings for me, move on. You can do so much better than me. But if I somehow survive the wrath of these pills and this blade, if you want to know anything; I will tell you. I love you Ray Toro.....And this may be.....most likely will be.....Goodbye.

I looked up from the phone with tears blurring my vision. I looked into Mikey's eyes. He recited his suicide note as I read it.

"M-mikey..." I stuttered, putting the phone on the bed and pulling Mikey in to my lap. I wrapped my arms around him.

"Your birthday. You seemed so happy and it hit me. I wasn't the one making you happy, it was others. I felt like I wasn't need and was taking up space. Me and my fat ass." He said quietly.

"Mikey, you aren't fat! Your thin as a pole. I'm the fat one here." I said, whispering the last part.

"Ray, you dont understand." He began. "I have a voice in my head, I call it my demon. He tells me I'm fat, he calls me names. Tells me to turn to cutting when I'm upset. He persuaded me to finally attempt suicide. That night, yes I cut. But I turned away from the voice. I loved you to much too leave. I want this voice gone, but I also dont. I can't imagine a life without it." He finished with a quiet sob.

"Mikey.....Mikey,Mikey, Mikey. My broken angel." I stroked his back slowly. Up and down, up and down. He cried and I let him, He needed to get this out of his system.

Mikey POV

Ray stroked my back as I cried my eyes out. When I was done sobbing, I pulled a way from Ray softly. I got up wiping my eyes and walking to my bag. I pulled out my cigarettes and lighter. Ray laid back on the bed, running his hands over his face and breathing deeply and slowly. I opened the sliding door and left it open. I walked to the ledge and sat on it. It was really big and I was able to cross my legs criss cross styled. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. As I smoked, I thought. Nicotine helps my thinking process. I thought about Ray. Imagining him finding me on my bathroom floor, blood all over the ground and my body cold, lifeless. I focused and noticed I was crying again. I hate crying. It makes me feel weak. I spun around. I saw Ray now sitting on the bed with his back to me. He walked to his bag and grabbed a pair of sweats. He walked into the bathroom and I heard the faucet for the bath turn on.