HEAVEN ➸ JENLISA

one

❝One day we won't have to 'come out of the closet'.

We'll just say we are in love and that will be all that matters.❞

The day Jennie confessed that she also liked girls wasn't how she had pictured it at all. She had thought that maybe she'll never have to actually tell her parents because eventually she'll find the love of her life, and if it was a boy, then why bother to admitting her sexuality.

She had always had a good relationship with her parents, they always taught her that it didn't matter if they lived in England, she had to respect and follow the rules of the korean culture. She had been born and raised in Brighton, which ironically, is agreed to be the unofficial "gay capital" of the United Kingdom.

So let's say she basically had the support of her whole hometown, but in her Korean household... she didn't have a single chance. After coming out to herself, she started to feel the fear of rejection from those she loved. For years she felt like a trapped bird that needed to set free.

But that night, Jennie was feeling rebellious.

❝Where is Kai, sweetie?❞ Jennie's mom started conversation when she sat at the table to have dinner with her family; and as the usual, it made her daughter feel extremely uncomfortable. ❝We haven't seen him in a while.❞

Jennie  sighed and avoided eye contact with her mother. ❝Cause we broke up.❞

She could feel how her mother almost choked  ❝You did what?!❞ She grunted.

❝What you heard mom.❞ Jennie shrugged. ❝Dad, can you pass me the rice, please?❞

Her father gave her the red bowl full of rice and kept silent, as he always did. It's not like he didn't care, of course he did, but he never really liked Kai as much as his wife did. So he prefered to keep his opinion to himself to avoid the drama.

❝Why would you do something so stupid?❞ The older woman started again. ❝I'm sure you're gonna get back together, you love each other...❞ She claimed.

Jennie couldn't help but roll her eyes. ❝Not anymore I guess.❞

❝Jennie Kim, I want you to tell me what happened❞ Her mom scowled.

The conversation was leading to the inevitable truth and Jennie knew it, her heart was pounding fast and her hands were shaking. ❝I like somebody else.❞

Her mom let out a big and overreacted sigh ❝You've dated Kai for a year, and now you decide to leave him for a simple crush?❞ She stuffed her mouth with kimchi out of distress. ❝And who is this new boy you like so much?❞

Jennie hesitated at first but then her courage spoke for her ❝It's a girl, mom. Her name is Jisoo.❞ She finally confessed, feeling absolutely relieved. Jennie had probably planned her coming out story hundred of times, but she never thought it would be that soon.

❝That's not funny, Jennie.❞ Those were the first words her father spoke that evening.

❝I'm not trying to be funny.❞ Jennie huffed.

❝What are you talking about?❞

❝Mom, dad❞ She took a deep breath ❝I'm bisexual.❞

(•••)

Now it would be great to say that Jennie's parents hugged her tight and showed her all their support. They also thought she was very brave for confessing this. They were not disappointed or upset about it; on the contrary, they were proud of their only daughter.

But it was not like that at all.

It's enough to say that after the bomb was thrown —which was a secret that took her years to reveal—, they forced her to get into the car and then was taken to the closest church they got, where they usually attended on Sunday mornings. Her parents begged to speak with a priest in order to make their daughter come to her senses and to cure her illness.

The man in his fifties spent at least one full hour reading the Bible to Jennie. He tried to explain the sin she was about to commit if she was planning to be homosexual, he also demanded that for nothing in the world she should make out things like that just to get attention. Therefore, for the man everything was summarized to her decision, she could simply choose to like girls or not.

The next day, Jennie got out of bed earlier than the usual; she hadn't had any sleep that night, but seeing her parents that morning wasn't in her plans.

Her pillow was wet and her eyes were puffy from all the crying. Her parents had never insulted her before until that night, because "no daughter of them would be homosexual". They believed she was going to reconsider what she said, that it was just a phase and she needed to grow up once and for all.

Jennie left her house when it was still dark and cold outside, around six in the morning. She walked to school with her headphones on, and when she finally arrived, there was only a few people in the building.

It was the first time Jennie witnessed the school halls that empty. She carried her makeup bag with her to the restroom so nobody could see how red and swollen her face was. As she was putting waterproof mascara on, a poster in the wall caught her attention.

┏                                                   ┓

LGBT
CLUB

high school pride!

♡
Thursday, 3:30pm

#loveislove

┗                                                 ┛

In an impulse of rage and frustration, she ripped the poster off the wall and brutally tore it. The colorful poster was now scattered all over the restroom floor on small pieces of crumpled paper.

❝Homophobic much?❞ Suddenly she heard a female voice coming from one of the blocks. Jennie had thought there was no one in the restrooms with her. ❝It took me two hours to put those up around school❞ The girl claimed while looking at the rainbow mess shattered on the white floor. ❝And I would really appreciate a little respect for my work and my club.❞

Jennie wiped her tears away, and turned around a little frightened, just to find herself face to face with the girl who was scolding her. She didn't know much about her, they shared a few classes, but she didn't even know her name. ❝I... I'm sorry.❞ She managed to mumble, without being able to look into her eyes.

The blonde could immediately tell the shorter girl was suffering ❝Oh... uhm its okay❞ She mumbled ❝You're Jennie, right?❞ The girl simply nodded in response. ❝I'm Lisa❞

❝I'm really sorry, Lisa❞ Jennie apologized again. ❝I'll clean this up❞ She murmured sheepishly and crouched down to pick up the mess she had made.

❝I'll help❞ The younger girl offered. Lisa felt like she needed to help the other girl for some reason ❝You know, every problem has a solution❞

❝You don't get it❞ Jennie's back slid down the wall and she ended up sitting on the floor.❝What if I am the stupid problem, and I don't have a solution?❞ Her voice cracked, making the other girl have an idea of what the real problem was.

❝Look, there's nothing wrong with you.❞ Lisa placed a hand on Jennie's knee to comfort her ❝There's just a lot of wrong in the world we live in.❞

♡