Dear Diary..

Sunday 7th February

Sunday 7th February 2013

(15:14)

Today at Church, I prayed for two reasons. I'm not sure if incest is a sin, but I prayed about it anyway. I am also not sure if kissing behind the church building is a sin, but I apologized to god nevertheless, just in case he actually does exist and he holds it against me when I am inches away from heaven. We weren't brought up as Christians. Mum says that if god truly exists, then we would've seen him by now...Unfortunately, Grandma, who has come to stay doesn't share these same beliefs. It sounds mean, but I dislike Grandma. she kind of reminds me of those censorious old market women who have nothing better to do than drag other people's names through the mud. To be honest, that seems to be all that she does...Forever telling mum off for one thing or the other. If I was mum, I would just delete her number and make sure that she has no means of contacting to me...I just hope that she is gone by the time I return from School.

Enough about her, let's talk about my boyfriend Ray. Yes, my brother Ray. OMG RAINA WHAT ARE YOU DOING, HE IS MY BLOODY BROTHER!? So what? So bloody what? Genes are the only thing that we share...Okay, no. I cannot sweeten this up. I am in a relationship with my brother and soon the police will come and lock me up for incest! Did I mention that I am a tad bit dramatic? Okay, I have to admit...The concept of it does freak me out a little, but when I am with him, I swear it's different. Honestly. It's like he isn't my bro...I'm not even going to begin to explain, it'sjust pretty damn complicated! Ramsey being away is a blessing in disguise, because when we have the house to ourselves, we can be intimate and talk and...Okay! This, is really, REALLY weird! He's my brother, for god's sake! Let me just get the question out in the open: Have we had sex?    Excuse me whilst I go vomit all over my own existence. He's my B R O T H E R, that...that is pure FILTH. I know it sounds wrong, it is! But I promise you that when we are together, it is different...Grandma has been calling me for the past five minutes. I think that she's forgetten how to operate the television...Got to go x 

(06:05)

Diary, last night...I slept with Ray. No, we did not have sex...I slept with him literally. He came into my room in the middle of the night and clambered into my bed. He was so soft and warm and he smelt of Apollo Lynx aftershave...Who shaves before they go to bed? Oh well. I had the best sleep ever,diary. I felt so safe, secure as his muscular-yes, muscular-arms hugged me. He must work out...Like I said before, he is the brother I interacted with the least. Maybe he uses the gym in our basement? Or maybe he has a gym membership? His girlfriend must like his arms...Wait. Girlfirend. G I R L F R I E N D...OH NO! It has only just occurred to me that I have subconsciously metamorphosed into what I detest: A boyfriend snatcher! No, I cannot be a part of this...I wont! I am going to end EVERYTHING, today!

Once I was dressed and my hair was styled, I grabbed my school bag and made my way to the kitchen. I was in a good mood and everyone had to hear of it. Romeo nearly, very nearly had his face in his cereal bowl.

"Good morning!" I chortled. I didn't as much as get a groan in response. I walked up to Ray who seemed almost as fatigued as his brother...Ray wasn't a morning person...at all. I grabbed a bagel and took a happy bite out of it and jumped oto the high chair opposite Romeo. 

"Cheer up, Romeo...You get to see your Juliet at School! And Sophie, and Andrea and Tonia..." he let out a melancholy exasperation. It was a well known fact that my brother was a player. Hell, even my mother knew! He dragged himself off of the chair and made his way to the door. When the front door slammed shut, we knew that we were alone. He hugged me from behind, planting a kiss upon my cheek. Then I remembered. I shrugged him off.

"Ray, we need to talk."