The tour ended and we stood at a crossroad. I knew that Al knew exactly where the guys was so he knew that we'd be back by now. But I couldn't just go back to the club without results and leave Matt all alone and unprotected.
"Why can't you just tell him about us?" Matt asked.
"Because… he'll use me to find you and kill you", I said.
"So what should we do?"
"I think it's best if I just go back to the club, says that I failed but that I'll try again next tour and that you guys went overseas. You go back home and we'll meet as often as I can get away from the club", I said.
"And then what?" he asked.
"I don't know, but this will save us some time to figure it out", I said.
"Okay if you really think that it's for the best, then I guess it is", he said.
"Thank you. I love you", I said and stood on my toes to kiss him.
"I love you too", he said.
I said my goodbyes to the guys and then went over to my bike and drove away from the parking lot where they all stood. It was just a short way to the club and took only about five minutes.
It felt like I was going to throw up when I arrived to the club. I would have to lie to so many people now that I didn't know if I'd be able to convince them all. But I had to try, for Matt.
Jerry and Michael stood outside the clubhouse and smoked. They both looked a bit surprised when I parked my motorcycle next to the others.
"Jaclyn? Wow we haven't seen you for ages!" Michael said.
"Where have you been?" Jerry asked.
"Going after some lame band trying to kill the lead singer", I said.
"Did you succeed?" Jerry asked.
"Nope… I lost track of them after that stupid tour was over and I'll have to try the next tour", I lied.
"Is it really that important to have that singer gone?" Michael asked.
"For Al it is", I sighed. "So what's new around here?"
The guys filled me in on everything that had happened while I'd been gone. Apparently we'd starting with drug dealing now together with the gun selling. It made me so angry when I heard that. What the fuck did Al think with? It would be so much easier for the cops to found out what we was doing now that drugs was involved. It was easier to find trails from that than from the gun business. He obviously didn't think of what was the best for the club. Sure it would give us all more money but that was money that wasn't really needed. We all did good just from the gun moneys and our work in the shop.
I went to see Al. Better to be done with it than to drag it out.
He sat as always behind that desk of his.
"Jaclyn, I'm surprised to see you here. I thought you'd left us", Al said.
"Of course I didn't", I said and sat down in one of the chairs.
"So how did it go?" he asked
"I couldn't do it. There was too many people surrounding them all days but I almost found out a way to really quietly break into their bus so I'll try that the next tour they go on if it's really important to you", I lied.
Al looked at me for a long time. "Why not right away?" he asked.
"Because that singer went overseas", I said. "He had some girl there."
"Okay. Continue with everything here in the club and then the next tour go back and finish what you've started", he said. "You can go now."
"One more thing, what's this crap I hear about drug dealing?" I asked.
"It's a good way for us to make money", he said.
"It's a stupid way to make money Al. It's also something that's not needed."
"If I say that we're going to do this, then we're doing this and you'll just have to accept that for as long as you're a member of this club", he said and it was obvious that it was the end of the discussion.
I left his room with angry steps and went over to the bar where uncle Bobby, Kenny and John sat.
"Hey kiddo", uncle Bob said.
"Hey Bobby", I said and went to stand behind the bar.
"I heard it didn't go that well for you", he said.
"I'm working on it. It's a tough job you know", I said.
"You don't have to do it you know. Someone else can do it", he said.
"Nah it's okay, I've come really far now so I should finish it", I said.
"Well It's good to have you back kid."
"It's good to be back", I smiled.
That was sort of a lie but still not. It felt good to be home again but I knew that there was no way I could stay if I wanted to be with Matt. And I really wanted that. More than anything right now.
But was it worth it? Who knew what would happen to us? Who knew for how long we would be a couple? Was it worth to risk everything I had, my whole family, for this guy who I loved for the moment but might not love next year?
