going, gone | jikook

six

Jimin: We should meet up|

Jimin: We should|

Jimin: We|

Jimin sighed in frustration. Why was this so hard? He threw his phone on the bed and laid down. It had been a week since they met. It had been five days since Jimin and Haejin left that hellhole of a hospital. Instead of going back to Busan, he stayed in Seoul, with his aunt and uncle, who cherished both him and his sister dearly. Jimin was beyond thankful.

But they weren't his parents, and nothing could change that. They couldn't change the scars that Haejin battled on her small body, they couldn't change the endless nightmares Jimin had every night because when it all came down to it, everything was Jimin's fault. No one spoke of it, they were the unsaid words, the unopened letters, the silent blames. They were the same stars that fell and the same rain that pattered on the roof of his car when Jimin had yelled and given everyone up in frustration.

He didn't mean it, but yet somehow he did. And Jimin wouldn't forgive himself. He couldn't even attend the wake, because he knew he'd be lying to himself if he thought he could go there with a clean slate.

Haejin was different. It was almost as if nothing happened. It was almost as if she was back to regular life, did she forget? Did her seven year old mind just forget about the man and woman who had both brought her up? Jimin didn't understand. But he also didn't understand my Haejin refused to let anyone else touch the Touch-Me-Not that Jungkook gave her. It was near dead, withering, but she prohibited anyone else from touching it.

And then there was Jeon Jungkook. He was quiet and secretive, almost mysterious. Jungkook was a person of little words compared to Jimin, who often got excited over little things. But when thinking back to the time Jungkook avoided his question as to why he was in the hospital, Jimin knew there was something off. Ever since he left the hospital, he had wanted to meet Jungkook so bad. Jimin knew and heard what he said to Haejin about not getting involved with him, but that all the more made him want to get to know Jungkook.

Jimin: you live in Seoul, right?

Jungkook: yeah.

Jimin: what do you say we meet up some day this week?

Jungkook: i don't know if i'll be free this week

Jimin: just for an hour or two. It won't take long.

Jungkook was, in short, panicking. He didn't know what to say, it wasn't that he didn't want to. He just didn't want to get close to Jimin. Jungkook was scared that he'd become to attached to him and Jimin would get hurt in the end. But what was he saying? They were only friends, barely even friends, in all honesty.

Jungkook: sure i guess that would work.

Jimin: great, where should we meet up?

Jungkook: there's a cafe pretty conveniently located around here.

He proceeded to give Jimin the details, and they confirmed to meet in two days, a Wednesday. Jungkook absolutely hated Wednesdays, they were the worst days to wake up on, knowing you were so close to freedom but yet so far. But as the day dragged by and Jungkook took a nap, watched some TV, and read a few books, he began to feel like Mondays were the worst day of the week.

Mondays meant the beginning. The beginning of change. The beginning of repetition.

-two days later-

Jimin stood in front of his mirror, fixing his hair. Should he go for hair down or hair up? Should he wear colorful or a simple monochrome color set of clothes? Or maybe the better question was, why was he stressing out so much?

"Jiminie?" Haejin's voice echoed from beside him. Jimin turned around to see his sister's head peeking around the doorframe. With her small braids and bright smile, she looked so undeniably cute. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to meet a friend, Haejin-ah."

"Am I going to be home alone?" Jimin froze. He remembered that neither his aunt or uncle was at home today, they were both at work.

"Aish..." he facepalmed himself. Jimin noticed his phone sitting on the dresser in his room. Would Jungkook understand? He told Haejin he didn't want to be so close to her, and now that Jimin thought about it, was Jungkook even willing to be around him? Shit, he had gotten himself into such a mess.

Jimin: hey jungkook, can i ask a quick favor?

Jungkook: yeah, what's up?

Jimin: i can't let haejin be home alone...

Jungkook: well yeah she can come along, but why would she be home alone?

Jimin: i'll explain when we meet up.

Jungkook was slightly disappointed. He wanted to see Haejin, no doubt, but he had been looking forward to hanging out with Jimin. He bit his lip in thought, then putting his phone on his bed, getting up to look at his closet. Jungkook wasn't sure what to wear. He wanted to wear something that was actually good looking, since the only thing Jimin had seen him wear was that damned grey hospital outfit.

He scanned the array of clothes in his closet, picking out a white shirt, black ripped jeans, and brown Timberland boots. Jungkook lifted his shirt over his arms, the air leaving his arms and chest cold and bare. He wasn't muscular, Jungkook liked to think he was slim, but his mom believed he was too skinny and therefore forced him to eat tons of food. It wasn't that he hated eating or anything-Jungkook could eat three burgers for one meal and still want more- but when his mom made him eat, he felt the will to rebel against her.

He shook the thought of his mom out of his head, and grabbed a black bomber jacket, his phone, and his wallet, stuffing them into his pockets. Before he left, Jungkook quickly grabbed his book and wrote down the date.

May 14th, 2017

He left it on his desk, the page open. Maybe it really was time for new beginnings.

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