Hunter - Book 2 of the Hunted Series

Chapter 12 - Uncertainty again and the first Mutt to venture too close.

Warning- Some strong language in this chapter!

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I woke early the next morning as I felt the bed sink. Nick was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the laptop again. He looked as pale as he had last night when he'd come home, dark shadows under his eyes, like he hadn't fallen asleep when I had. It looked like he'd been up all night on the laptop.

"What's wrong?" I slid up and stared at him.

"You really want to know?"

Probably not, if he put it like that, but I nodded anyway.

"Anne, I've been trying to be positive about this." He was staring at the pregnancy page again, at the 'what dads should know' section, and Nick's face was drained of all blood. "I just don't think I can do this. All of it. I'm not a natural father like Clay, is, I don't think I'll be a good parent even. I don't know how to cope with this."

The sound of activity downstairs made us both flinch. I sat there, stunned, unable to speak. What the hell, where the hell had this all come from?

"What are you saying?"

"I'm... confused." He frowned at the word. "It's too much right now. Maybe it's selfish to bring a child into the pack right now. Maybe we're not ready. You didn't see how hard it was for Elena to give birth. Or for women to give birth. It's really not easy.”

There was a call from downstairs, which I tried to ignore, but Nick was clearly eager to answer it. He stood up and dressed as I stared at him. The last time he'd said this, I'd yelled, I'd run off, but now I couldn't. I'd gotten used to the idea of this working out.

"Think about it." He turned to me at the door. Nick sounded tired when he spoke, quiet, like he'd been thinking these words all night. "I know you want a family to replace yours but you have one, Anne, we're your family. How can we protect a baby when we're struggling to protect our own pack?"

Then he was gone. I stared at the door. The words selfish smashed itself around my head, rebounding, unable to believe what I was hearing from him. Maybe it was the tiredness talking. I didn't care. He was being selfish, not me. Or was he?

I had no clue. I dressed, voice gone, and went downstairs. All emotions were faded away again, like they had when I was trying to recover from the funeral, and I felt numb. What if he was right? What if it was selfish to want this to happen now?

As I came down the stairs I heard activity. A lot of it. Jamie was in Elena and Clayton's room with the door shut, and locked I suspected, and feet were moving through the house below at a fast rate. I could hear Pav and Jeremy's voices downstairs.

"We're going to meet the container ship." Jeremy informed me, when he saw me, something in his arms. Laundry I supposed. Whatever he'd lost at the sight of his home burning had vanished now, he was back to his calm and confidant self. No trace of the indecision or self-doubt remained. He glanced at me, waiting for me to ask to go, but when I didn't he blinked slightly. "Elena and Antonio will meet Clayton and Reece. Anne, you can't go, but Nick, if you want-"

"I'll go." Nick moved forward.

Jeremy glanced him and then nodded. "Hurry up and throw some clothes together."

Nick nodded and back headed upstairs.

When I still didn't ask to go as well, Jeremy looked at me, and very softly, asked, "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. I wasn't ready to talk.

I watched them go, Jeremy's hand on my arm, Pav on my other side. It was clearly war, or something like it, because even as they were pulling out, they were already discussing tactics. Who would stay where and who would be on the front line. My heart sunk as it faded from view. Nick couldn't go a day without returning to that earlier panic and resistance to the pregnancy. We'd known two days and he'd only been happy about it for less than twelve hours.