Dear Me,
I want to know what it's like to wake up and be one of those people who has their life set out. I want to know what's it's like to open your eyes and great the world with overwhelming benevolence. I need to know what it's like to be happy and not a depressed teenager.
In all sincerity, most of my journal entries wind up starting like this or something much more depressing on my part because as I've told a number of people, I'm a sad and angry person who would rather see myself crying than someone else. I contradict myself in so many ways, but then again, when don't we go against ourselves one time or another.
This project isn't just about taking a depressed person who hates them selves and making them into this preppy person who goes around spreading love to the world (wouldn't that be lovely though?). We want to be okay with yourself rather than hate yourself constantly. The Journal Series is only one of the many things we're going to try and get you guys to do.
Though instead of writing actually letters to ourselves (or our diary) we're going to do something different. In my Honors English class we were to write as many I Wonder statements as we could within the time limit we were given. Now, you're going to do that. I'll give you an example using the one I came up with.
I wonder if there are any true happy endings.
I wonder if society will always criticize the way a girl or boy looks like.
I wonder if I'll ever stop sticking my head in the sand to avoid the development of my life.
I wonder if I'll ever be pretty enough.
I wonder if I'll ever be good enough in the eyes of my mother.
I wonder if I'll ever stop hating myself.
I wonder if happiness will ever stop being a forced emotion within a teenger.
I wonder if we'll ever stop changing ourselves to conform with the rules of society.
I wonder, still I wonder, if I'll always be same person I am now.
I wonder if I'll always be alone.
After we were done with our statements we had to use five and make them into a poem. We arranged and moved the pieces that would fit and it could even be random and in the end, we had to recite it to the class. Mine ended up like this.
I wonder if I'll ever be pretty enough.
I wonder if I'll always be alone.
I wonder if we'll ever stop changing to conform with the rules of society.
I wonder if society will always criticize the way a girl or boy looks like.
I wonder if happiness will ever stop being a forced emotion within a teenger.
So, I'm asking you all keep a journal and whenever you get an I wonder thought, might as well write it down because those 'I wonders' could just end up making something beautiful, such as a poem or even, since so many fanfiction writers follow us, an amazing fanfiction. We are our own muse sometimes and it's time we gave ourselves some damn courage for one.
Dear Me,
I smiled today. It was a genuine smile and for the first time in my life, I didn't question it. I let the feeling of JOY take me over until I felt tingling in my fingertips. Because I was genuinely happy for once in a long time.
