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Cold.

Bitter.

Lifeless.

It was all I felt. All I knew. I take slow steps to the forefront, eyes scanning, roving for any movement. Blood splattered the pure snowy terrain, the earth drinking it all up. Mangled bodies lay in disarray; littering nature's gift. The victory was short lived. No one felt like champions.

This is all our fault.

I look away. My heart heaves at the loss, it buckles against the immense tragedy, trying to maintain a steady rhythm. A hand is felt on my shoulder, slowly breaking me from my little bubble.

"Are you ok?" The voice whispers. Everything seems to whisper now. No one dared speak aloud for fear of waking the dead, for fear of reliving it all again. I don't blame them; what happened here should never happen again.

I nod my head, my mouth unwilling, my tongue tied. I walk away, leaving the voice behind me. I walk away in hopes of leaving it all behind me.

"Rue ! Stop please. What happened here wasn't your fault; it was inevitable. It had to happen." Several voices now hound my ears; assailing whatever is left of my sanity. I toss their words to the air, paying no heed to what they say. My pace is faster, more urgent.

I need to leave. I have to leave. I pull my coat tighter, reaching for the sword at my waist, patting it into place. My mind, my brain can't seem to assemble a coherent thought; everything seemed to have died with the fighters, to those that sacrificed their lives for me; everything seemed to have come apart at the seams the moment the war cry was yelled.

We should have yielded. We could have stopped this.

The loss I feel overcomes me, bringing me to my knees. Connections were cut, ties were severed, lives were lost; all because of one mistake. A personal mistake.

I shut my eyes, willing the tears that threaten to spill out to stop. I clamp my mouth shut, forcing the garbled cry down my throat. My hands shake, my body trembles. Despair and agony radiates from my body. My soul sang a somber tune, a tune that hasn't been sung in so long.

I groan at my weakness.

Stand up.

Soft hands grip my shoulders, aiding me to my feet. "Please, don't go. This isn't your fault." I free my shoulder from the hold.

"It is my fault." I walk away, leaving muffled cries and wailing voices.

"Where you go I will follow."

Kane.

My back straightens, my posture rigid. I turn slowly and face him. His face is impassive, void of emotion. His eyes held another story. The stormy grey ones meet Arctic blue; both waging their own battles; both telling a story.

A subtle shake of my head was all he needed. I needed no one. I stopped needing people after they began letting me down. His eyes turn darker, the primal side showing it's subtle color. I clench my jaw at his stubbornness.

I cannot be responsible for one more life. I cannot have more blood on my hands.

"Rue let me come." His voice turns soft. The wind carries it, altering the tone to a more gentler one. I stare at him, cold and unforgiving blue eyes meeting his grey orbs head on. I stand straighter.

Know your place.

His eyes holds mine but not for long. He turns his head, and exposes his neck in submission. I let a soft growl escape my lips.

"I don't need you Kane."

I turn on my heel and leave the massacre behind. I turn and leave, hoping to rid the stench of death and sadness off of me.

"You are our only hope of survival ! We need an Alpha" cries a woman. I flinch at her words.

I'm no Alpha. I'm a murderer. I'm a vile being.

"I'm not your Alpha." Cold hands grab mine, turning me around suddenly. I'm faced with a small number of fighters, each scarred, each of them tainted with the sin that happened.

"We need you now more than ever. It isn't your fault Rue." All eyes train on me, not leaving my face. I close my eyes and will my heart to beat normally.

"I abdicate the title to Enforcer Kane Shaw, now ruler and Alpha to the Quartz Pack." My voice falters slightly, my brain finally allowing a sensible thought to be spoken aloud.

I'm not fit to rule. After the destruction that happened, I don't think I'm fit to do anything. The stench of dead bodies attack my nose, entering the pores of my skin. Everyone staggers at the overpowering odor, all grimacing and disheartened. My heart falls. My self worth with it.

I feel eyes on me and turn to find it. I nod at the pair of grey eyes, my confidence in him never wavered.

Wise choice Rue.

"Goodbye." The finality in my voice shocks me. This was it. I'm not coming back.

"Your pack will await your return Alpha" Kane booms. The sincerity and respect shines from him. I smile a sad smile, knowing I will not come back.

After what I've done, after the pain I've caused, I don't think I'll ever return. They are much better without me. I stand upright, my palm flat on my chest, over my heart. I raise three fingers to my lips before raising it to the air.

It was how we say goodbye. The gesture was returned; the faces ashen and sad.

My pack. My family.

The wind picks up again, biting and nipping bare skin. It's cold.

I turn for the last time, and walk into the unknown, the wind around me, my pack behind me.

A chorus of howls filled the air. A tear escapes.

*

"To love is to offer yourself fully without expecting anything in return"

Hey guys ❤️ not entirely sure if I'm going to pull through with this story, but just wanted to test the waters and see how y'all respond to it. I'd love feedback; like any aspiring author would.

Love to all x

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