Losing her

To Lucy From Lucy

     "Lucy? My mama always writes letters to you, I wanted to write one too. My name's Lucy too! I think I was named after you. I'm 17 years old. I don't know if mama told you the big secret or even if she had time too.  She has cancer. I hope she gets better soon. They say she's doing better than last year, when they first discovered it. Breast cancer, I wonder how she got it. I read through the things my mom writes about you, and you seemed like the perfect person. I don't understand why you left.

    I do understand hiding it though. People will ask about it and when you tell them, they say it's nothing compared to what they've dealt with. Mama and dad never did that. The people from school say it a lot. They also say it's weird to be named after a dead lady, but I'm happy I'm named after you. 

    I can't live up to the impact you left on my family, so I'll have to make it bigger I guess. I want to become a writer. Did mama tell you about the family? Katie's 32 now. She has two children. Macy and Todd. She told me those were the names you wanted for your own children. She's a therapist now, helping those through their mental problems. She's a great mother. Simon is 28, and just got married to his pregnant wife. He's a professional baseball player. I don't understand sports so I'll spare you the details and say he got a full ride to college and passed with flying colors. He paints in his free time and sometimes sells them. 

    I have a little brother, he's 14. His name is Andrew. I also have a little sister, she's 11, and her name is Silvaline. Isn't that pretty? I came up with it myself. I'm pretty proud of it. I had a lot happen in my life as well as mama and from what i could tell, you too. She told me it was the hardest thing in the world, losing her best friend. I'm sorry that I wasn't alive. I wish I could have met you. I hope I don't have to lose a close friend of mine either. I know I can't ask you, but I hope you don't mind me making a story about mom and her struggles with losing you, through her perspective. 

    I love writing. I love spreading the word. I want to help in my own way, Lucy. I want to speak in front of people like my mama, but with my anxiety I can't even present a slide show in a class of 15 people. I'm better with my writing.  I'll dedicate my book to you Lucy Johnson. I never knew you but I feel like I do. My mama and dad talk about you all the time, I even got some stories from Katie. I wish you didn't go Lucy. It would have been amazing to have met you.  This is my one and only letter to you Lucy. Your story teller, Lucy Anderson." 

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I've personally never lost someone important to me but I suppose I've almost lost people due to suicide. My grandpa killed himself and it came as a shock to me, I didn't know anything was wrong. I also didn't know he was an alcoholic. I was 12  I believe. I don't like the thought of a friend leaving my life and others lives due to suicide. Life is hard but it goes on. It's a horrible thing to say, but really Abby wanted to help but she didn't know anything was wrong. How can you get help if you don't tell anyone? People won't tell you your doing it for attention if you tell the right people, Parents, siblings, teachers, best friends, boyfriend or girlfriends. If they tell you that then they were the wrong people to go to and don't listen to them. You deserve help. I hope people who understand, read this, get the message I'm trying to deliver and get help. Thank you for reading.