Mr. Bagans will see you now

New Me?

After the guys had wrapped up for the day Billy Jay and Aaron decided on going back to the hotel, leaving myself bacon and Zak at the rental.

When we arrived it was a modern home, lots of grays all in all a nice home.

I grabbed my bags and went upstairs, finding a room fairly quickly. The room was decent size and a queen size bed, certainly big enough for me to get cozy into tonight. The one thing I liked about the house was being in the woods and the large windows it had. You could be totally free and not worry about a damn thing here.

There was a knock on the door.

"Hey B, Mr. Organic is making me run to the store for him do you want anything food wise that is?" he asked.

"Umm, no, that's ok, just bring back whatever and I'll make us something really good" I told him.

"Thank god," he smiled

"I heard that!" Zak called out from wherever he was.

I smirked laughing softly "You can assist me!" I called out coming out of my room and going to find him.

He was in his room.

Of coarse.

"I'll be back in a bit when I find the store" he said.

"Do not get lost" I teased him.

"ME? Never," he winked, making me laugh.

"OK texts ever half hour you're gone" I joked with him some more.

"Yes, mom" he said.

I couldn't say, but that kind of bothered me, knowing I'd never hear that phrase.

Zak must have seen me change cause he came up and rubbed my arm.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Sorry, it's just hard" I whispered, shaking my head clearing my mind.

"I understand," he told me

I nodded and let go of my sleeves I had pulled into my fists shaking my hands free.

"So, we're alone, again," I said, making him nod.

"Yes, do you want to continue our conversation in the woods? Or do you really just want to say it's nothing when I truly know it's not nothing" he said.

"I shouldn't" I said, shoving my hands into my pockets.

"Britt come on please" he said, taking hold of my arm and gently pulling it out of my pocket and putting his hand in mine lacing them.

Swallowing as I looked at our hands. "There was a time not long ago that I would have loved this and it still makes my heart skip a beat and the butterflies rage a war inside me." I told him.

"But didn't you tell me that you wanted to show me something, something bad?" he said.

"If I do... I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself" I said

"He doesn't love you Britt.. Like you deserve" he told me.

"What if you're wrong Zak," I said.

"I'm not," he told me.

As he said that I rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb softly looking up into his eyes. I needed this I needed him. And like I said before, I was in Utah and Jesse was in Chicago.

I led him to his bed and sat him down with a little force that I hadn't planned on using, but he must of liked it since the growing smile on his face.