nanu • spn

❝0.01❞

Pathetic, they would say. You're not good enough, they would say. You're worthless, they would say.

You shouldn't exist.

Die.

At least, that's all that I remember. Who is "they"? I don't know. Anything else is just a smudge in the back of my mind. I was told that my memory would come back in due time, but who knows? Lots of stuff can happen when you don't exist.

I was watching mommy and daddy argue. Nothing new. They're yelling about "police reports" and "funerals" and other stuff I don't understand. Am I supposed to? I don't know. Honeslty, I didn't know anymore. I was scared. Lost. Confused. I could assume some things, though. I could assume that I didn't have a body anymore, seeing as nobody can see me. I tried calling out to my big sister once. Nothing. Not even a glance. It's not like my sister ignoring me is new. What usually happened is I would call out to her, in which she would ignore me. If I called her name enough, she'll notice me and call me names I don't know and throw me to the ground. Mommy told me it was because she loved me. I'm not so sure about that anymore. This time, though, I called out to her, and nothing. I kept calling.
And calling.
And calling.
Nothing. Not even a blink.
I tried touching her arm. It felt like I was touching air. I also had noticed how pale my skin was. It was... unusually pale. More than it was before. Like, the color of paper. As for how it felt, I can't answer that. Mainly because it also felt like I was touching air. I went to go look in her mirror. I regret doing that.
In the reflection, I saw a girl with thin black hair, a white dress up to her knees, scratched socks covering her feet, and her eyes..
Cold, dead eyes.
But, to my dismay..
That girl was me.
It couldn't have been. My hair isn't black, it's brown. I wasn't wearing a white dress, I was wearing a pink dress. With a jacket. And I had shoes on. But, there was no mistaking it.
It was me.
It's been a couple months since that happened. I'm still watching over my family, though it's painful to do so. It's been crumbling apart. My sister doesn't even leave her room anymore, and I don't think there was ever a day where I didn't hear mommy and daddy screaming, or throwing things at each other. Why can't they just leave each other? I don't understand adults. They're so complicated. So odd.

Oh, but where are my manners? My name is Nanu, and I was murdered in 2002. You're probably wondering how I can still see my family even after I've died. Well, I'm definitely not human, that's for sure. I'm not sure what I am, honeslty. When I was alive, I read books about the supernatural and ghosts haunting people. I never believed it.
But, maybe that's what I currently am.
A ghost.