Daughter of Darkness

Chapter 27

I stay in bed all day. I know that I'm acting childish, pouting in my bed because things aren't going my way, but I'm fed up with it. I have to work for everything, pushing myself non-stop and life just never lets up. It just keeps kicking me down, trying to break me with blow after blow.

I catch myself wishing that I can just pack up and go home. I push the thought away quickly, knowing I would never, could never, leave Willow.

Protect her. Promise me. My mother's words echo in my head, and I can feel that promise pulsing through my body with my blood, twisting around my very core. 

I allow myself to sink into a hole of pity and exhaustion, where I consider giving up. I let myself soak in my failures and fears, curled up on my thin mattress, silent tears soaking my pillow. Once I hit that point where I can go no lower, I close my eyes, wipe my tears, and begin my climb back up. It's a method my father taught me, to imagine the worst, let the fear and worry take you over, then start planning how to make sure it never comes to that.

"When you're at your lowest," he would say, in his quiet, simple way. "You can only go up. If you throw yourself to the bottom,  you can begin the climb out."

So I climb.

I still have Willow. We still have time, I remind myself. I have my friends. I'm uninjured. I have people and resources and clues. I can figure this out. 

The first thing I need to do is get into the tomb. The only problem is that I need to get in when I know Darius won't be there already or show up. I can't follow him around the castle, waiting for an opportunity. 

What I need is a time when I know he'll be occupied for a while.

The ball. The answer hits me like a lightning strike. He'll have to be there and probably be busy dancing with all of the ladies. I've never been to a ball before but I imagine there will be time for me to excuse myself and escape, make my way down to the tomb and investigate for a while before I have to head back.

My stomach sinks. The ball isn't for another week still though; can Willow last that long?

My planning is cut short when the barracks door opens and Hale pokes his head in.

"Can I come in?" he asks cautiously. I feel guilty about earlier, even worse knowing that he'll leave if I say no.

I sit up and wave him over. He gives me a hesitant smile and perches on the edge of my bed.

"I put your sword back with the others," he says. "If you were worried."

I actually haven't even thought about it, didn't realize that I never picked it back up after Maddox knocked it out of my hand. The guilt intensifies. 

An awkward silence settles over us as I struggle to find the words to apologize, to explain. But Hale speaks first.

"Sebastian and I have been friends for along time," he starts, surprising me. The topic feels random but I know Hale wouldn't bring it up without a purpose.

"He was there for me when I had no friends growing up, and when I lost my family. I love him like a brother; he is my brother. So when you showed up, some random girl that he had a connection with, something he wouldn't talk with me about, it was a first. You were both being secretive, and sure, I was jealous that he would keep something from me." He shrugs. "But more than that, I saw the worry in his eyes when he looked at you. How the circles under his eyes got darker as the days went on, the stress on his face when you spoke."

Hale chuckles under his breath, like there's something funny about what he's saying. 

"Rather than this random girl, you became this girl who brought trouble with her. The source of his worries and stress, the reason he couldn't speak to me. Whoever you were, whatever problem you brought with you, it was affecting him and I hated you for it. You caused this rift between us."