Strange One-Shots

Gay Panda

     "Are you excited to go to the zoo?" Sadie asked her (imaginary) panda friend. He gave a short nod as he continued to nibble on the bamboo Sadie grows for him.
     "Stay here, I'm going to see if my parents are ready yet," she said as she walked to the bedroom door. Her thin blonde curls were bouncing as she skipped down the hallway to her parent's room. She was dressed in a simple light pink and blue plaid summer dress with white sandals that would slightly jingle where ever she stepped because of the zipper.
     "Mama? Are you ready yet?" She peeked her head through the door with an excited smile on her face. It had been ages since she went to the zoo, and this time her friend could meet some other pandas.
     "Just a sec honey, I'm putting my shoes on." Her mother called from the other side of the room.

     "Panda and I will wait for you in the car! Don't let Daddy take to long!"
     Sadie's parents have always known about her friend. At first, they thought it was cute, but then she never really made any actual friends. They tried lots of things to nurse her off of him but she never really talked to the other kids. So, they eventually gave up and just let her be.

                                                                                          *  *  *

     The family had just finished looking at the bird's exhibit. As they walked down the concrete path Sadie couldn't stop herself from rambling about each colorful little bird.
     "Did y'all see the one with the blue tipped wings and tail? Oh, it was so beautiful! I wish I could have all the little birds. Then my room would always be filled with color and excitement!"
     She paused to look at a sign that read "Pandas ->" before continuing.
     "I would teach them how to dance and sing too! Wouldn't that be silly? A bird in spin class?"
     Before she was able to continue the Panda exhibit was in view. Sadie gasped and took Panda's hand in hers before running to the glass, leaving her parents behind.
     "Panda look! Aren't they lovely? But don't worry, none of them are as handsome as you!" Sadie finished with a smile.
    As Panda looked at his fellow species, he realized he wasn't really that aroused by the females. And this was especially odd since it was mating season. But the more he looked the more he caught himself looking at the males. His thoughts were interrupted by his only friend Sadie saying,
     "What are you thinking Panda? See anyone you like?" She wiggled her eyebrows at the last question.
     He pointed to a panda that you could tell was clearly male by the way he was sitting.
     Sadie responded with an "oh" before she went into deep thought. Panda just looked at her patiently, knowing that it would take her a minute to understand.
      "Wait... are you saying that you fancy boys?" She asked in a whisper with her eyebrows furred in confusion.
      He gave a nod and continued to look at her, curious to how she would react.
     "Well that alright, as long as you are happy! Not what I was expecting but surprises are always fun!" She wore a huge smile as she turned to look at her parents that had just arrived.
     "Guess which one Panda likes!" She asked jumping up and down.
     Her parents glanced at each other before Sadie's Mom responded, "Hmm, this one?" She asked while pointing to a female panda that was nursing her cub.
      Sadie quickly shook her head cause her curls to fly around. "Nope! Your turn daddy, guess!"
     Sadie's dad looked at the exhibit before answering. "This one?" He pointed to another one nursing her cub.
     She shook her head again, "Y'all were both wrong! Panda likes this one!" She said with excitement as she pointed to the male panda.
     "Now, now, are you sure Panda likes that one? I mean, it's a boy!" Sadie's Mom said almost like she was pleading...hoping.
     Sadie looked at Panda before saying, "Yes mama, I'm sure he likes that one. Why?"
     Sadie's parents looked at each other with worried expressions and they both put a hand on her shoulder.
     "Just never mind, why don't you and.. Panda go on ahead." Sadie's Mom reassured.
     Sadie looked at her for a moment, wondering why she hesitated to say Panda's name, but she waved it away and said,
     "Okay mama, we'll meet y'all back at the entrance."

                                                                                                 *  *  *

     The car ride was quiet. The parents didn't dare speak a word about what they were thinking as their daughter kept dosing off. Once they finally arrived home Sadie's dad carried Sadie into the living room as her mom made preparations. A big box, cereal bars, and water bottles were placed in the living room. Sadie was picked up by her father and gently placed in the box along with the bars and water. They froze as Sadie stirred, but quickly resumed when she went back into deep sleep. 

     Sadie's mom sealed the box with the lid and stamped "CHINA" on it.  

     "Off she goes," they said in unison.

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Don't worry I'm not sure what to think of it either.  Also, THIS WAS IN NO WAY MENT TO BE OFFINSIVE SO DON'T TAKE OFFENSE IN IT.  Please. 

Thanks for reading I guess.