SPINE [Completed]

CHAPTER 7

Moments of realization of the past is often one of the scariest parts of life. The memories that hover around one's mind in a blind daze of pure confusion are the ones that scar the most. Learning about his self made James feel ignorant. Like a child learning that the rain is water or that the stove will most definitely leave a burn, he felt as if what he had known up to to this point was meaningless. A sense of betrayal also entered his mind. "Why didn't we go through with the surgery? And why did you never tell me until now?" There were hundreds of questions that assaulted James's perplexed conscience. His mother took a seat across from the bed and sighed. She brushed her hair back, cuffed her face within her two hands and eventually picked her head up to face her son. "Back then, it wasn't as easy to successfully perform bone marrow transplants. And you were way too young. We didn't know what to do exactly. And we ended up taking risks that led to your father passing away." In utter shock and grief, James just slowly nodded his head. Chills prickled at his skin and his hands trembled. "We could've at least tried. He was my dad. Why didn't we at least try?" His voice grew louder and louder and once again, James's emotions started to dictate his actions. Tears flushed his entire face. "And he was my husband, James. My best friend. Who he was to me was and is much stronger than who you are to Taylor. I didn't want to lose you too." She started to cry. "But, he was everything to me. I would've given everything to him."

James gripped his blankets and threw them off the bed in sheer frustration. "You are his everything James. Everything you are was given to you from him. He would take all of that pain to watch you walk, grow, and live a life all over again if he had to. They said I was a slight match too. And I went through with it. Just to try and see if it would work. That's why you were with your grandma for that long time when I told you I'd bring him back. And I failed. I woke up after the surgery. And well...there was your father right next to me. They had covered his face with a white sheet. He was gone." James felt his stomach drop and his mind went blank. He looked back at his mother who was now an emotional wreck. He had opened scars that she hid so well until now. He felt his eyes shake and tremble and he could feel them watering, but no more tears came out. Just a faint sound of agony rolled off of his tongue. "Mom, I'm sorry."

She ran over to him and hugged him tightly. She clenched her son's waist and poured affection from her temple down to her baby boy's heart. "I love you so much James. And I know you miss your dad. But, he can wait to see you. I've always been the possessive type when it came to you."

2 Months Later...

"Alright, thanks coach, I really appreciate everything you're doing for me. I promise I'll be ready soon and get back on the court." It had been almost three months since the diagnosis. It was a war against chemotherapy, time, and willpower. On some days, James felt strong enough to push the pace and get back on his feet. On others, his pain prescribed him to the addiction of pain medication and soured his entire mood. But in the midst of all of this, UConn coaches praised his courage and continued to contact James and made sure to let it be known that the point guard position will still belong to him when he was ready. It was one week before graduation. 16 days until the transplant. 19 days until Taylor had to start training. One day at a time, one treatment at a time, he thought to himself. His mentality never faded even though his skin pigment and hair did. Everything was set in terms of the transplant. It was not easy for Taylor's father to commit to the transplant and was torn between giving her what was best for her in terms of her future as an athlete and as a companion to James. Massive amounts of support from the community channeled through James's veins and that same love helped pay for the treatments and upcoming surgery.

His mother worked two jobs to keep the house and keep everything in check. Taylor checked in every single day after school and she made the hospital her home. She left extra clothes in James's room and made sure to keep up with her schoolwork and her duties as captain of the soccer team. Even though the season was over, Taylor kept training with the upcoming girls to keep herself in shape and sharpen her leadership skills. But even her, James's other half, felt the pressure at times. It was never perfect. They would fight from time to time when the world turned its back on them and left them to be hung up to dry. Frustration would lead to anger and anger to weightless arguments. Weightless arguments into apologies. And here James sat staring at the four walls he had been staring at for the past few months. Even though he went home from time to time to feel more like a human and less like a medical experiment, James was nowhere strong enough to leave the uncomfortable comforts of the hospital.