SPINE [Completed]

CHAPTER 11

"James! Sweetheart. Come here now. Come here. Oh my god. Please come here." His mother sprinted towards him. She held him in her arms. The rush of emotions spiraled the two. And that was it. Just an uncontrollable rush of emotions. Taylor's father fell to his knees. "Is she...is she really gone?" James stared into the sockets of a hollow figure. His defeated self unwillingly nodded. Noises that were even hard to fathom and even more unbelievable to listen to escaped his lungs. They were echoed by her father. The doctors stood motionless. "We...we don't know what happened. We're -" James's mother stood and hushed them. "Please. Just give us time right now. To be alone." She got up from where she held James. She kissed him and wheeled him back to the room. Everyone in the hospital grew silent. A death of an angel and the most beautiful rainstorm followed her last footsteps. Her flawless silhouette engulfed his mind. Her father followed behind them. The doctors fell to their knees now.

"James." After hours of pure silence, Taylor's father spoke. "Did she look happy? With her eyes closed. You know, a sense of joy and not grief?" Stunned by the question, James stopped for a moment. "Yeah. She was smiling." He immediately looked away. There were no more tears. Just blank stares. "That's how her mother looked too. Right after the accident." James had never heard this story from Taylor before. It was something they acknowledged but never explored. Taylor's father let out a sigh and rested his head against the wall. 

James's mother rested next to James. "We were driving back home to pick up Taylor. And we crossed an intersection. A car hit us from the back right side and we spun. And in the last second, the car twisted right into a tree. Seconds before, I was in line to get hit. By some unexplained force, the car tilted to her side and she was killed immediately. And despite the blood and the branches seeping into her body, she was at ease. Almost smiling." He looked up. "I'm sure she's smiling and happy to see her baby girl again." He got to his feet. "I'm going to finish up some paperwork. And James. Thank you. For being her best friend. I never had the right words to tell you. But I genuinely did and will forever appreciate you. Taylor's last gift to you was herself. Carry her well. Live for the both of you."

1 Month Later

It was like learning how to walk again. To talk again. To be human again. And at last, he understood how mistakes and flaws could make someone whole again. In his brokenness, he learned to let the light in and reveal his most perfect aspects. All of his empty spots were filled by her. Not a day went by when his mind didn't gravitate to her. Even in the littlest of things, he found her. Her laugh found in the crevices of another's lungs. Her smile found within his mother and her father. Her energy found in his own bones now. The best part and perhaps the only reason he felt like living was that the procedure was successful. He was going to make a full recovery.

After a week she had passed, they held the funeral and services. There were roses. So many roses. And bittersweet rain. He never felt so incomplete. He stood by her casket during her wake. "You are my best friend. You're my wonderwall. And now, I will always be jealous of you. To smile at your worst. But, you're in my bones now T. You're my backbone. My spine. Let's get after this. Together."

The coaches at UConn contacted him and first and foremost gave their condolences. The next few phone calls dealt with James's training and beginning of his college career once he was mentally strong enough to start competing again.

"What number do you want to wear? Number 24 is available for you."

"Do you have 13?"

"Yeah, we do. Do you want that?"

"Yeah."

"Any reason? If you don't mind me asking."

"She wore 13."

"Of course. James, we wish you the best. We can't wait to start this journey with you."

The last thing on his mind was basketball. But at the same time, it was the only thing in his life that remained consistent throughout time. He needed to get back on the court. Go through his routines. It would take at least another few months to regain the strength to move around and exercise again. The days after she went away were filled with hours of grief followed by splashes of bitter confusion. Nothing made sense. And still, every night, his mind went back to that night. His mother encouraged him to start moving around and feeling a bit more like himself. All of his friends and Taylor's friends visited daily to fill the space and pass the time. There was still not an aching second where his mind was not fixated on her eyes. Her goofy smile. Her playful nudges. Her tiny ears. Her button nose. Her touch. Rather than run from it, he embraced it. Letting the emotions take its course, he stood steadfast and remained alive. For you.