Demi Lovato song one shots....

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me

I studied myself in the mirror as I prepared myself for another day in room 09. I tried to steady my breathing as I heard the bell above the big blue metal door beep as it slowly opened, at the other end revealed Jacob.

"Jacob! You're back!"

I said as I walked up closer to him as my short white gown flared,

"Yeah, I came here because I really needed to talk to you about something..."

I raised my eyebrows at him as he came to hug me,

"Don't touch me."

The anger inside of my boiled as he pushed him away from me,

"Please, I didn't mean it. You know I love you. Why can't you love me back?"

Jacob folded his arms,

"I can't believe everything your saying right now. Have the doctors giving you your meds yet?"

I started crying as I let myself fall to the floor,

"Why don't you trust me?"

I heard him sigh as the sound of his footsteps was all I could hear and the buzzer of the door declaring that he has left this room that I surely can't, even if I wanted to.

"Wait!!!! Jacob!!!! I hate you!!!"

I screamed at the top of my lungs as I punched and ripped the walls with all of the emotions that came along with this mental illness.

I let myself fall to the ground once more as I felt so vulnerable.

"Please come back."

I hate you, don't leave me.

I feel like I can't breathe

Just hold me, don't touch me

And I want you to love me, but I need you to trust me

Stay with me, set me free

But I can't back down, no I can't deny

That I'm staying now, 'cause I can't decide

Confused and scared I am terrified of you

I know that I haven't been taking my medication lately, and that's because I don't want to feel this way anymore. Like I'm so harmful for the world to have to be locked up in hear. Just because I can have ten different emotions in one minute. I know I'm talking crazy but I just want him to at least hear what I would like to say.

I admit, I'm in and out of my head

Don't listen to a single word I said

Just hear me out, before you run away

'Cause I can't take this pain

I hate you, don't leave me

I went back to a time in my head where Jacob and I were on our 2nd year anniversary date. We went to this fancy restaurant just downtown. We shared spaghetti and meatballs, just like in that movie, lady and the tramp. He kept playing around with my hair as we'd always steal kisses from eachother, oh how I loved his kisses.

Then we went along to the park, we watched the ducks in the nice shine of the moon light in the water. Jacob took my hand and told me, "We will be together forever." As he gave me that one kiss that always gives me butterflies just thinking about it. It was so beautiful, so tender and loving. I've never felt so normal than when I was with him.

I hate you, don't leave me

'Cause I love when, you kiss me

I'm in pieces, you complete me

I hate you, don't leave me.

I feel like I can't breathe

Just hold me, don't touch me

And I want you to love me, but I need you to trust me

Stay with me, set me free

But I can't back down, no I can't deny

That I'm staying now, 'cause I can't decide

Confused and scared I am terrified of you

I admit, I'm in and out of my head

Don't listen to a single word I said

Just hear me out, before you run away

'Cause I can't take this pain

All of these happy thoughts lead me to have negative thoughts. What if he decides to leave me? What if he decides that he'd rather someone else who he can treat like a queen who is not mental

But he told you that he would always be there for you, no matter what happened.

Yeah, right. He's gone for good honey.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!"

I screamed at the voices in my head, Jacob is coming back I just know it....

A tear slid down my cheek as I wiped it away with my bare arm that was full of drawings I did myself. I drew a kitty being eaten by a shark. Yup, madness right?

And I drew red lines. It also made me feel like my addiction was predictably reasonable.

No oh

Im addicted to the madness

I'm a daughter of the sadness

I've been here too many times before

Been abandoned and I'm scared now

I can't handle another fallout

I am fragile just washed open the shore

I hate you, don't leave me

I admit, I'm in and out of my head

Don't listen to a single word I said

Just hear me out, before you run away

'Cause I can't take this pain

I hate you, don't leave me

I hate you, please love me