Stuck On The Eighth Bar Line

A New Beginning

I sit and stare at the ceiling while the moon light hits my face. Every night I hear my foster parents yelling at each other over the smallest things, but mostly about me. They argue over what to do with me. They don't hate me, but they definitely don't love me. They think I'm too detached, and that I'm not lovable enough. They care enough to keep me though, unlike my parents who left me when I was born. They didn't want me at all.

This year I am going to a new school. I get to finish my senior year and then I'm done. There will be new people that do not know me, have never seen me, or talked to me. A fresh start. I seem to get a lot of fresh starts. Since I move schools almost every year, changing from home to home. But it all ends up the same; no friends, no one to talk to. All I have is my music. I don't need anything else. When ever I am sad or angry I play. Any emotion I have I play my music.

My foster parents always tell me to play something happy like a love song. The thing is I don't know what love is. I have heard of it, I've seen it, heck sometimes I even smell it, usually around Valentine's Day. It smells like roses and chocolate. But I have never experienced it. I always tell them that I don't want to, and they tell me, "That's right you hate all forms of love." Obviously joking around, but then they leave my room and I can play what I want. I can feel the way I want to. Is this what freedom feels like? Doing what you can? I don't think so, this is more like only having the freedom to feel, not do what you want.

I wake up to Jonathan banging at my door.

"Iris, get up I have to leave for work early, so you need to be ready by 7:30. Unless you've decided you like walking."

"Okay, thank you!" I reply as I get up and prepare myself for the day. Jonathan and Julie are my foster parents. They can be very strict, but it is what I have. Besides, they're better than my last set of foster parents who didn't want anything to do with me. Jonathan and Julie at least care somewhat. I go to brush my hair. It's long golden color reaches all the way to the bottom of my back. It's thick and curly, and doesn't like to be told what to do.

I do my daily morning routine and make my way to Jonathan's truck. With a cigarette in his mouth and a window rolled down, I could tell he was waiting on me. I get into the car as he starts it up.

"You excited?" he asks as he pulls out of the driveway.

"Not really it's going to be like my other school, nothing to be excited about."

"Oh, and why is that?" he says.

"It's going to be like every year of school; no friends." As I said that he stopped talking and we ride the rest of the way in silence. As we pull up I can see students walking inside. "Thanks Jonathan." I say as I climb out of the car. I turn and follow the direction the other students walk in.

I go to the councilors office to get my schedule and he introduces me to the staff so that I can be familiar with them. He explains who to ask certain questions, and where I can find those people. Normal school stuff. Nothing exciting.

After meeting the staff and getting my schedule, I make my way to first period. I walk through the halls looking at my map of the school to know where to go. I don't  pay much attention to what's in front of me. I focus my thoughts deep into the map, my eyes glued to the paper.

Then suddenly, my stuff goes flying everywhere and I'm knocked down to the floor. I look up to see this guy on top of me. He looks at my terrified brown eyes with his gorgeous blue ones. His short, messy, brown hair easily complemented his tan skin. I feel paralyzed, but he looks at me with a cheeky grin and in a deep voice he says;

"Hey."