Assassin's Creed Oneshots

Bitch You Thought (Ezio x Reader)

Don't ask about the title..I wanted to make something funny....

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My oh-so considerate lover was fast asleeep on my bed taking up almost all the space. I wanted to lay in the bed, Ezio. I let out a frustrated sigh and just sit near the window. My eyes graze upon the streets of Roma as the sun shined rays of disappointment into my room. No need to rub it in, sun. I look back over to the sleeping bear on my bed who was still fast sleep.

"He must have had a rough night, but I want to lay in bed, as well," I murmur.

"Well, why don't you, Y/N?" A random voice says out of nowhere.

I look over to the bed and see Ezio wide awake in the most awkward position ever. My cheeks suddenly feel warm as the bear chuckled and lied on his back. Ezio was awake this whole time, and he couldn't be bothered to move his ass. The bear shifts his position so he is staring into my soul with those handsome eyes.

"Could you move? The bed still belongs to me, you know," I say.

"Of course it does," Ezio says in a sassy manner.

"Move your ass, Ezio Auditore. Go and stalk Rodrigo Borgia or something," I say getting up from the chair.

Ezio reacts in a rather exaggerated manner, as I make my way to the bookshelf. I hear a soft 'how dare you', but brush it off as one of Ezio's hilarious reactions. I hear the bedsheets shift and the matress bounce as the heavy bear on it is changing position.

"I assure you, Y/N. I am not doing any sort of stalking!" Ezio says in a defensive manner.

"Ah yes, because apparently breaking into someone's home and watching them is most definitely not stalking," I tease.

"Whatever you say, but I am not leaving this bed!" He proclaims.

I roll my eyes and sit down on the chair. I open the book I have in hand and ignore Ezio's ridiculous rambling. My eyes and focus are solely on the book and not on my lover. I hear Ezio give a frustrated sigh and lay back down on my bed. When will he leave my bed? I barely had any sleep last night because of the great Niccolo Machiaveli.

The day seemed to have flown by since it was already afternoon once I decided to put the book down. Ezio seemed to have left my room and do whatever a Master Assassin does during this time of day. I get up and put the book back where it belongs and finally lie down on the bed. I didn't even bother to change into something more comfortable because I was so tired. My eyes started to close until the door blew open. Guess who was at the door?

"Ezio, what are you doing in my room, again?" I ask tired.

"Angelo, I just wanted to see if you were alright," Ezio answers with a mischievous smirk.

"Kind of you to think of me, but as you can see, I am perfectly fine," I reply.

His lips curl into an even more mischievous smirk as he closes the door. I sit up straight and look at the bear with a confused look. He sits on the chair I sat on awhile ago and looks at me as if he were a villain. I ignore him and lie back down on the bed. I just want to sleep.

"Ezio, please go away," I say pulling the blanket over me.

"Why?" He asks.

"Because you're annoying," I reply.

I hear an exaggerated gasp from the man as I start to settle in. I always loved teasing him since he had such a quick temper. Sure, he can get scary at times, but it was fun to see him frustrated. Ezio lets out a few complaints but decides to give up since I wasn't listening to whatever he was saying.

"Can I hop in bed with you?" He asks.

"No, most certainly not," I answer.

"I thought you loved me, angelo!" He says rather offended yet exaggerated.

"Bitch you thought," I reply.

With that, I hear him get up from the chair and leave the room. At last, I have my peace and quiet. My eyes slowly close as I drift off into a deep sleep.

--The End--