Does it matter that I'm fatter?

1- I do

When I was eighteen I was ready for anything. I honestly believed I was amongst the rare few who had the privilege to change the world. I had a faith in Allah that most teenagers do not even dream of. A kind of faith that would allow me to always be working towards my goal. That would allow me to make decisions most teenagers would not dare to. When my dad, Ihsaan Isaacs, said to me, "Hey Firdous, do you think your ready?" I went, "ofcourse, I’m always ready." Consequently he pressed a smile into one corner of his lips and he said, "for marriage?" With a quizzical tone to his voice. You know what, I didn’t even hesitate, not even a little, I said yes.

I really do not know why I said yes. It certainly was not because of that old guy look in my dad’s face that just made you want to give the guy a break from all the work it warrants to pay out for having daughters in the twenty first century. It could not have been that, because I still had two other sisters living off his paycheck and I don’t think cutting me out the bill would make a difference. I mean I honestly wish it would, but my dad would always find a reason to take care of me. I would like to think I said yes because I had some spiritual epiphany that drove me to the path I was destined, but spiritual epiphanies don’t originate overnight. I guess I just said yes because I was living in the moment. Nothing made me want to get married but I had no reason to say no.

If you are wondering whether I thought of things like who would think I was pretty enough to marry, well ofcourse I did. I mean I did not think I was particularly pretty but I could not be that ugly. The stress of writing matric burnt the little fat I did have like some hardcore weight-loss program. I mean I guess I was admissible, and when I saw Rhidha for the first time, that week after I finished writing matric, I agreed. What difference did it make that he could not give me the life full of luxury I was used to? Who cares that he didn’t have the money to go to university? How could I expect him to ditch a full scholarship to university for biochemistry? So what if he was going to study in Turkey? What could possibly happen to my normal-ish, average life in three years?