A week before the wedding my dad knocked on my bedroom door and I jumped up to go to him but he was already walking in. He seated himself on my bed and I sat on the floor looking up at him. He smiled like he had to say something he didn't know how to. I smiled at him the only way you can smile at someone who lives all your life giving themselves to you. He sits a little longer in silence. I don't try to start the conversation.
"Hey Firdous, are you ready?" He asks.
I smile at him before saying, "Ofcourse I'm ready."
He presses this smile in one corner of his lips and he says, "You're so beautiful."
He says it so awkward but so sincerely.
You know what I didn't even hesitate, not even a little, I said "I know I am."
My dad never said things like that. He never said he loved us but he gave us everything he possibly could. He never praised us but he kept all our achievements in his heart. He never, ever told us we were beautiful but he spent All of my matric year looking for a guy that would atleast try to see the same kind of he beauty he sees in me.
I had a girl in my class who moved over from London the year before matric. She always had this eloquence to her words. Whenever she said something silence would cover every space that surrounded her. She did an assignment on the true meaning of beauty and I listened intently like every other soul in my class. Though distinctively, I can still hear her saying, 'beauty isn't something you can look at, it's something you feel.'
YOU ARE READING
Does it matter that I'm fatter?
DuchoweFirdous Isaacs was what the world wanted her to be, and it was easy to live with herself. When she couldn't keep up anymore it kicked her to the curb. And a decision she made then is not one she can handle right now.
