Trade

Chapter 3. Best Thing I Never Had.

Aaron Turner

My cousins wedding went smoothly and considering he was a kingpin that was a blessing. I stood by his side nervous someone would bust into the church shooting trying to get at him and I'd take a bullet. If it wasn't for me not being able to fake sick at the last moment, I might've skipped the wedding all together and stayed home watching the D'angelo 'untitled' video in my boxers while I ate cereal and basked in my loneliness.

Amaru had stood me up after I told him I'd agreed to let Moses introduce me to his sister in law and take her off his hands. I hadn't seen him at the wedding and I'd wondered if he'd even showed up, I'd never actually seen him with his wife in person and deep down I wondered what she was like, she probably didn't deserve me sleeping with her husband.

"You look like you hate your life" My brother Kaine commented as he drunk from the glass of Hennessy he held. I shook my head as I leaned forward folding my hands on the table and staring at the expensive decorations around the large ballroom.

"Ajani's stomach is looking a bit round. Are you about to have another kid?" I questioned changing the subject and he laughed.

"Nah she's just fat" He responded and I stared at him in shock. "I'm just playing, she's only six weeks, we don't wanna announce it yet. This is about to be my fourth child, damn life comes at you fast" My brother pointed out as he stared straight ahead like it was all just hitting him. I thought he might cry for a moment but he smiled showing his dimples.

"You're almost thirty. Your oldest is in second grade and your youngest is two" I said gesturing towards my niece who came running over to us. She paid my ass dust and reached for her father who pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her protectively.

"I wouldn't change a thing. Growing older is a blessing, and I'm a little wiser. Sounds like something else is bugging you" My brother commented. I hesitated before deciding to open up to him.

"I want somebody to love me as much as I love them. I want the type of love you and Ajani have and Angelo and Goddess have. I just been feeling like shit lately because the person I want the most doesn't want me" I admit out loud for the first time.

"Ron, you can't chase him forever, sometimes you gotta let people chase you. Every time you build yourself up you let him break you back down. Sometimes you just gotta move on" Kaine responded and I clenched my jaw.

"Whatever" I mumbled as my nephew Knox walked over adjusting a watch on his wrist that looked too big. Kaine pulled his son into him and tightened the watch as much as he could ending our conversation.

"You're only eight and you're raiding my jewelry cabinet already? Damn" Kaine complained kissing his son's forehead. Knox scrunched his face up and looked around at people making sure nobody saw.

"Papá you can't do it in public. Only at home" Knox whined as he moved over and hugged me tightly. I brushed my hand over the back of his neck before letting go and Knox looked at me curiously.

One of my biggest worries was my nephews and niece coming into age and not accepting me or being ashamed to have me around. But since they were little I've always been just me and they were use to it and didn't think anything less of me because it was normal to them.

"I like your necklace" Knox commented picking up the diamond chain. I unsnapped it from my neck as my youngest nephew Kieran walked over and looked at me watching me clasp it to Knox's neck.