Okay so I was talking with my boyfriend at one in the morning. He's depressed but you know, I love him. We were having a heated debate on capitalism vs communism. My friend (lets call them Cindy but lets say they go by Will) was over and they were asleep on my bed. Eventually, my boyfriend said that capitalism doesn't matter because nothing really mattered anyway. Now I was irritated for a number of reasons but this sort of set me off. I told him "Oh great more depression," and he said "Oh please." Then he went on to say that everything was meaningless. Let me remind you that we were both tired and that it was one in the morning. I asked if he was a sociopath and he made a weak case against that. He started talking about how everything was meaningless and how in the grand scheme of things, nothing really mattered. I asked him if I was meaningless. He said in the grand scheme of things yes. Right now, probably not. He didn't say no right now, he said probably. My frustration turned to sadness. I asked him if he loved me. He said based on past experiences and some emotions, most likely. This was in a group chat with a couple of my friends including "Will" and Gracie_The_Reaper . Gracie was giving me support and said that I always have the option to break up with him. She contacted him and told him to tone it down or he would lose his girlfriend. He said that it would be my fault since he was just defending himself. I asked him if i left, would he care. He said not immediately but he would later. Then he talked about his sadness and stuff. I started crying, my eyes were literally so blurry that I couldn't see what i was typing. I tried waking up Cindy/Will but they just rolled over even after I started sobbing and begging them to help me. Later they would criticize me for trying to even defend myself. I told Gracie this and she told me that she didn't know how to help me. She tried though. It reached a point where I wasn't even mad at my boyfriend anymore, just sad. Three years ago when I first met him, he was very different. I brought that up to him asking where that boy was and he told me he was just sleeping. He asked me why I was guilt tripping him. I told him its good if he feels guilty because he literally made me cry. He said he would probably feel sorry later. I tried to stop myself from bursting into full out tears because my parents are in the room beside me. I felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly. After a little while he told me he doesn't feel emotions right and that he'd be sorry if he could. Being me I immediately forgave him and things slightly patched up. I told him bye and fell asleep. Will woke me up and scrolled through the conversation pointing out everything I'd said that he didn't agree with. He went into the chat and said it all. My boyfriend sort of defended me, saying that it was his fault. I told him it wasn't and then Will interrupted again saying subtly that no, it was my fault. My fault for being offended. Gracie helped me through this, if she hadn't I probably would've killed myself. Everything sort of worked out but I can still feel that stabbing pain. Thanks GrimmReaper2257 / Gracie_The_Reaper / Adrian_The_Reaper
