dark side of the moon

sex, death, drugs

I.
an unfamiliar tongue spoke words in my mouth and I said no that night. a glass of something stronger and a melancholy appetite for self-reassurance and the words "I don't like you back", but fifteen was far too young to let him undress me with more than just his eyes.
II.
a burning desire to end all suffering in a matter of seconds and I said no that night. a gun too loud and knife too painful, but the thoughts and disappointment in allowing myself another miserable day weren't enough to be so selfish as to take the easy way out.
III.
childlike curiosity mixed with assumed invincibility and I allowed the devil on my shoulder his hour or so and as the smoke filled the night and the pain of a year floated to a heaven I couldn't believe in, I said yes that night.