dark side of the moon

a recurring nightmare

a recurring nightmare, like clockwork
only this time, you lean in to kiss me
but I don't have lips
you're crying while your favorite song plays
and you're wearing the shirt your mother got you for your fifteenth birthday
the one with Kurt Cobain on it,
the one you got paint on
and then I'm alone
the phone rings, but when I answer
it's you telling me about the time you cheated in Geometry
and your dad died
and how you're convinced they're somehow connected
when I hang up the phone and turn to lay down
you're laying beside me
with the gun in your hand
and you're telling me about the time your mom almost overdosed
and how you hope there's a God
you've been contemplating suicide, you say
and I try to stop you,
but I can't
so I ask you to go
and then I'm alone
until I close my eyes and see your face
I can't decide if I'm asleep or awake
and you won't leave until I tell you to do it
and although I tried to stop you,
I knew I couldn't
so I give in because it's not real
but it feels so real
and I close my eyes again
and you pull the trigger
and then I'm alone