Troubled times

dear life,

im not sure whether I'm ready to face all of my demons next week and eulogize my father as well as put to rest all of my pain for the years of abuse i have faced from my family and few close friends i feel more lonely then usual all i know is that if you think that you can suck the life force out of my spirit your wrong my soul is strong when my pain is at its peak for my dad i know that it will take me a long time to heal from anorexia and bulimia and from depression and ptsd from the two times i was raped i hope that in the end it makes me stronger but that would imply that i was strong to begin with. I don't know where this journey will take me only that i must follow what my dad would want me to do and be responsible for the two kids he left behind that is all for now. i hope that my hero complex will survive this pain https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjleHNdbVZg