Troubled times

Emptiness

I know I don't deserve you , i know i failed to come and visit you I know I lied to you about being about to do that but I know I am only human and I make mistakes I know you're punishing me for it I know all the times that you leave me on seen or you make fun of me or you tell me you wanna leave i know it's because you want me to suffer you know exactly the kind of affect that you have on me and you do it anyway because you know I'll never stand up for myself for fear that I'll lose you to my own incapability to get past when you hurt me you'll never say you're sorry or admit that you're wrong you'll never treat me with respect and not like I'm indispensable I'll always be your last option I thought once that you loved me but now i realize that i was fooling myself because the truth was just too painful you don't care about me but i guess when I treat myself as less then human you will too