Fireworks in My Teacup

f o u r

You never think it's going to happen to you. 

You hear of it, plenty enough, about the boy's brother dying, or the girl's heart being broken, or the dark red pool of blood on the floor from a decision made 19 stories above. You never think any of it is going to happen to you though. 

It's so far away, so, so far away, you can't even imagine any of it happening to you. It's in a completely different universe to you and your sleepy yawns, your coffee spilling mornings, your minty, striped toothpaste. 

Until one day, something does happen to you, and it feels like everything you've ever avoided feeling hits you all at once and it makes you gasp for air, not all at once but slowly, gulp by gulp as the days trickle away like the tears that won't quite flow from your eyes because it's not really happening, of course it's not, this is part of someone else's life. It doesn't hit you sometimes, even when you hear it said out loud. You think of it as someone else's tragedy and you stare at the wall for you have no reason to be sad, but of course, you do. 

You have every reason to be because now, finally, it's your turn.

 Your turn to be the subject of people's huddled conversations on rainy days when everyone likes each other, their well-put-together sorry faces masking the relief they hide so well; "thank god it's not me".