Gerard’s P.O.V:
The realization that had come upon me that day had shocked me. I had always seen Frank as my friend, or, rather as my best friend in this world. I had never had any romantic feelings towards him at all. I knew our fans thought so, as they had created the whole idea of a ‘Frerard’ relationship after we had pulled a lot of stunts on stage. They even swore that I just married Lyn-Z to hide the truth, that it was just a mask, and that I was seeing Frank on the side. It had pissed me off. I loved my wife with every ounce of my body. I still love her even though she’s gone. That’s why I had been shocked to realize that I love Frank. I shouldn’t. It was too soon after my loss. But I couldn’t help what I was feeling.
I felt so uneasy about the whole situation. Frank wasn’t mine at all. He loved Jams, and he was still very much grieving over her. And that again left me feeling guilty about not grieving more over Lyn. Sure, I missed the hell out of her, but I wasn’t grieving the same way as Frank is over Jams. Frank had barely functioned when he came here, and the only reason he had functioned at all was his kids. At least I had been functioning without Lyn. Though not as much as usual, it was nothing against Frank. Frank had totally broken down. Nothing had worked for him after he got the bad news.
I, on the other hand, had overcome the sadness that had taken me. I had come over it after a month. It had been gone almost four months now. I was happy with the way things were now, even though it had taken a tragedy to get me here, and I would miss Lyn and Jamia forever. I was happy with Frank. Though, he didn’t entirely know how I felt about him, I was still happy. I was happy to raise our beautiful children together, to have him by my side and for the simple fact that I got to share my days with him.
Ever since the episode in the park, I had been more cautious though. I was extremely careful not to put us in a position where my true feelings could be revealed. I didn’t want a new week where Frank and I would go around being awkward towards each other, like we had been after the park incident.
That meant no more dish fights as we did the dishes together, no pillow fights where he would beat me until I was on the floor with him straddling me, tickling me until I begged for mercy. No more movie days or nights with Frank laying across my lap with me stroking his hair. And even more importantly, no more going to the park, showing Frank how to golf. Everything was now done normally.
The only exception to that was Frank’s birthday. It had been planned for a while now by Mikey and me, and we were finally ready for it.
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I woke up early in the morning as the sun started to shine through my window, knowing that I was the only one awake at this hour. I smiled to myself before getting out of bed and getting dressed. I quickly checked how I looked in the mirror before I got out to wake the kids. My hair was unruly and messy, and I had stubbles. I needed to shave, but that would have to wait. I got out of my room and made my way over to the children’s rooms, waking them up, which resulted in some low protests, before telling them to meet me downstairs when they were dressed.
A smile played across my face as I went into our little storage room. I looked up to the highest shelf and saw that Frank’s gifts were still there. Not that he would have been able to reach them there, but I could never know with him. I grabbed them and headed into the kitchen.
When I got down, I found a tray to put them on and went into the fridge to find the cake that I had hidden there yesterday after Frank had gone to bed. I took it out and placed it on the tray with the gifts all around it, then went into the pantry and found the lights for the cake. The kids had wanted to do exactly as many candles as the number Frank was turning, so there were a lot of them for me to put on the cake, but it was worth it in the end. To be honest, the cake looked rad. I mean, a pumpkin shaped cake with orange frosting and 37 black candles? He would never have guessed for that. Or at least I hoped so.
