Welcome Back, Riley

Chapter 5

I don't wake up until noon the next morning. I feel my eyes swollen from all the crying. I pull myself out of bed and find myself moving to my bathroom. I look at myself as I stand in front of the mirror. My hair is a mess, and I see just how swollen the area under my eyes are. It's been worse. They should be better after a warm shower.

After twenty minutes in the shower, I get out. I wrap a towel around my body and hair. I look in the mirror, and just as I thought, the swelling went down. Prom night is still fresh in my mind. Usually when I remember it to the full extent, it stays there for a few days. Along with the pain. I really believed Lucas Friar was my person and a part of me still believes that even after everything that happened.

"Riley?" A knock at the door gets my attention.

"Yeah, hang on." I hurriedly throw on the clothes that I have brought with in the bathroom. I move the door to open it. "Mom, what are you doing home?"

"I forgot some paperwork. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, why?"

"I can see it in your eyes. Come here." My mom wraps me into my arms and I melt into them. No matter what issues we have, she has the motherly touch. That magic touch that makes everything okay, at least for a little bit. "Your father told me you saw Farkle yesterday. I guessing it didn't go that great."

I try to laugh to cover the fact that I'm fighting back the urge to cry. "I miss them, mom! All of them. I want to hate the two of them, believe me I do. Instead, I find myself wanting to call them when something good happens or when something horrible happens." By this point I'm sobbing, and my mom is still holding me. "When Maya walked in, my first instinct was to march right over and slap her right across her face. But then I wanted to pull her in and never let her go." I take a deep breath. "When I saw Lucas and those damn eyes of his, I wanted to leap into his arms and hold him as tight as I can. It scared me because as soon as I looked into his eyes I knew that I had already forgiven him. What's wrong with me mom?"

My mom grabs my face and wipes my tears away with her thumps. "Oh honey, there isn't anything wrong with you. You miss them, but you are still hurting. You have to worry about yourself right now. Yes, years have passed, but there is no measure on time to says this is how long you can be hurt for. You need to fully heal and until that time comes they just all have to wait."

"Thanks mom."

My mom holds me for a moment longer. "I am so sorry, Riley."

"For what?"

"Everything. I haven't been the best mom to you in the past years. I'm especially sorry about how insensitive I was to you that night. It was the night that broke you and I wasn't there." I see tears fall from her eyes, and now it's my turn to wipe them away. "I just assumed that you were going to be okay. I never saw you as anything but a strong person. You're my daughter after all." We both laugh.

"You have always been so good at masking how you really feel, and if you felt like you were getting too much attention. You felt guilty." How could she know that? "I'm your mother. I know my daughter, or at least I like to think I do." She smiles at me. "I know you don't need me now that you are an adult, but I want you to know that I will always be here for you."

"Mom, I'm always going to need you. You're my mom."

She holds me for a moment longer, "I have to go back to work, but how about I come home early. You, me, your dad, and Auggie all go out for a family dinner."

I really didn't want to leave the apartment. "Or how about I cook dinner here."

"Your famous lasagna? We have everything in the kitchen. I was hoping while you were here, you would make it."