Welcome Back, Riley

Chapter 18

We pull into the cemetery, and I take glances at Lucas. His eyes are glued to the window looking outside. I park the car where I always park it. When he realizes, the car stops he looks at me.

"Why did you bring me here?"

I take a deep breath, "I brought my parents, Auggie, even Farkle here when he surprised me. They all came, but if anyone needed to be here it was you." I wait for him to say something, but he doesn't. "You don't have to get down if you don't want to."

He starts to shake his head, "I want to. I just...I need a minute."

"Do you want me to wait with you?" Again, he shakes his head. I don't say anything I get out of the car.

I walk over to where Hope lies. I do what I always do. I sit down in front of the grave and trace her name with the pads of my fingers. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that Lucas met her without realizing. I sit there in silence. It's almost as if I don't want to talk without him here. A breeze comes in and I close my eyes enjoying as the cold wind touches my skin.

I jump slightly when I feel someone rub against me as they sit down. I slowly open my eyes and see Lucas staring at me. He has a small smile on his face, and I can see it's painful for him to be here and I completely understand his pain. We sit there for what feels like hours in silence, but in reality it was only a minute.

"It feels surreal being here in this place with you," I say in a hush tone. "I have dreamt of you being here in Seattle with me, but not in this particular place. I've dreamt of what she would look like older and how you would chase her around pretending to be a dinosaur," I smile with my eyes gloss over. "She would run to me grabbing onto my leg telling you that you couldn't get her because mommy protects her from everything." I wipe the tears that had falling. Lucas places his hand on my knee and lightly squeezes.

I look up from the grave marker and lock my gaze with him. His green eyes are locked on mine, and it feels like he is looking right through me into my head reading all my secrets.

I clear my throat, "Lucas, have you ever been to Seattle before today?"

He nods, "Once. It was our freshmen year of college. That spring I came for an interview for a summer internship here at a clinic. It was only for a night. I didn't do much beside the interview and stop at this small café that was right across the street from the clinic."

"Did you get the internship?" he shakes his head. I look back to the grave, "You weren't meant to be around," I whisper to myself.

"What?"

"Lucas," I take a deep breath. "You met Hope, you met our daughter."

"Riley, I would have remembered if I met someone that was half me."

"Do you remember Jessica?"

"The lady I just met, right?" I nod. "I mean she looks familiar, but I can't exactly put my finger on it."

I slowly pull my phone from my jacket pocket and scroll through my pictures. I land on one of Hope when she was a little older than two months. She's wearing a black and white long sleeve onesie with a pink solid heart in the middle. I manage to capture a picture of her smiling at the camera, and you can see her bright green eyes. I have tons of blurry ones trying to get this one shot, but I can't bring myself to delete them.

I stare at the picture and my heart feels heavy with bliss, and tears start to form in my eyes again. I slowly hand my phone to him, and his eyes go wide. I wonder if he recognizes her.

"D-did that outfit come with a matching pink bow and pants?" I try to search my brain for the outfit. I slowly nod. "Jessica. Jessica had her at the café," I smile. "I remember feeling drawn to her. I couldn't explain it, but her eyes. Those eyes I remember them. I dreamt of them." He looks up from the phone and looks at me. "Is-is this Hope?" I nod. "I met my daughter," I nod again not saying a single word. My vision is blurred. I blink and a few tears fall.